absototes 

An awkward or awesome way of combining absolutely and totally when you can't decide which word to use.

This peppermint bark vodka will be absototes amaze in hot chocolate.

Or

Doing laundry before a trip is absototes the worst!

absototes by WhatsNormal47 December 13, 2014

Absonotely 

The combination of absolutely and not in one easy to say word.

"Did you understand all of that?"
"Absonotely"

Absonotely by Ed Martinez October 19, 2004

Absolutesalmon 

An absolute salmon is a large or small fish caught by two or more big mons.

It’s an absolutesalmon yo

Absolutesalmon by BigMonRoySturgis January 22, 2021

Absotootely 

Absotootely is another way of saying absolutely... It is more fun at say as the 'toot' in the middle of the word relates to the bowel passing the flatulence which is also known as farting, passing gas, tooting, and many others.

"Hey do you wanna come over to my house?"

"Absotootely!!!"

"Hahah nice word... Just don't 'toot' when you're at my house!"

Absotootely by Beth Wright September 2, 2013

absolutestink 

as absolute zero is to temperature, absolutestink is to farts. when someone unlooses an absolutestink, everything within a 14 foot diameter is vaporized instantly. those who are in the 14-30 foot range will no longer be able to smell anything for the rest of their lives, except the smell of #openass. for most people, the prospect of a life lived this way is too much to bear, and they off themselves within 1-2 days. in the 30-2000 foot range, most people will have chronic diarrhea or adult onset retardation.

i was heffin cyber sex with my girlfriend jim the other day, and she unleashed a monstrosity which displayed absolutestink. fortunately, she lives in russia so i was physically unaffected, however the sounds of human bodies being mangled in the background will haunt me forever.

absolutestink by trilliam turdsworth January 18, 2024

absolutes 

The comparison of two items with properties. The first being that one average item trumps the other average item but if both items are "good" then the reverese is true and item 2 becomes better.

grass absolutes turf.

meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde

absolutes by Oh My Goodness :O December 31, 2024