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When you put absolute before an insult, you make its career ending abilities 10x stronger by making the victim feel dumb.
Without:

Guy 1: What’s 3 times 4?
Guy2: I’m not answering that you dunce!
Guy 1: :(

With:

Guy 1: what’s 3 times 4?
Guy 2: I’m not answering that you absolute dunce!
Guy 1: I don’t feel so good D:
by Trendyhoe June 20, 2018
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May 12 Word of the Day
When someone goes to the gym and spends 90% of the time on their phones scrolling through social media
Looks like its thumb day again for Jimmy with his usual routing... 3 sets of 5 snapchat selfies and 10 sets of scrolling through facebook until exhaustion
by Gary br April 02, 2017
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2
Something only a Sith deals in.
Anakin: "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."
Obi-Wan: "Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

or

Luke: "All woman are queens!"
Kylo Ren: "If she breathes, she's a THOOOOOOOOOOT!"
In the above case, the protagonist and antagonist are clearly Sith.
by SlickSerpent99 January 06, 2020
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3
Something only a Sith deals in.
"If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes"
by awesomeMB9 September 25, 2020
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4
100% pure alcohol. Alcohol can only be distilled to 95% ethanol, 5% water; so a drying agent must be used to get it 100% pure. This product is illegal and can only be obtained through scientific laboratories. Cannot be consumed pure as it will burn the throat, but great for spiking punches as it is flavorless.
The mad scientist used absolute to spike the punch at the symposium and all the researches got unexpectedly trashed.
by restless G November 06, 2006
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5
Not quite a 'total' but someone on the periphery, who you know well enough to use the c-blast in a friendly way.

Total - One of the finer people in life. It comes from not being able to say the affectionate c-word when you want to, in front of other people. So you say 'oh, he's a 'total'
You met Steve yet?

No, is he a total?

No, not quite, he's an absolute.
by samebleedingbit February 04, 2011
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6
Similar to Trill. When someone is thought of to be Absolute they are known as being serious, to the point, strictly the real and they get it done in an absolute no ifs manner. No questions asked. New terminology courtesy of Foreknow Apparel fam worldwide.
That guy is Absolute. Comin correct.
by Foreknow 4NO Apparel January 31, 2007
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