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You dumb fucking cretin, You fucking fool. absolute fucking buffoon. you bumbling idiot, fuck you 

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Gordon Ramsey type beat
Parents: "Aww! Our baby is finally talking!"

The Baby: "You dumb fucking cretin, You fucking fool. absolute fucking buffoon. you bumbling idiot, fuck you"
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Related Words
Absolute Fucking Walnut • absolute fucking shambles • Absolute Fuck • Absolute Fucker • Absolute Fuckery • Absolute fucking boys • Absolute Fucking Bullshit • Absolute Fucking Chad • absolute fucking dick head • Absolute Fucking Horseshit Dickless Faggot

What the absolute fuck? 

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When "What the fuck?" isnt sufficiently exasperated enough, "What the absolute fuck" is used.

Same as "What the actual fuck?" except more localized in New Zealand.
John: What the absolute fuck is Jim doing?
Dave: I have no idea man

Jim: Hey Mike someone shat in your shower bro
Mike: What the absolute fuck?

John: Man this is badly organized...
Jim: Yeah I have no idea what the absolute fuck is going on.
What the absolute fuck? by BloodBomb January 5, 2011
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what in the absolute fuck 

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The most extreme variant of what the fuck. Considered to be one step above what in the actual fuck.
"Hey Tom, we're gonna need you to come in this weekend." "Really?" "Yeah. Also, the client moved the deadline from next month, to next Thursday..." "Okay...What in the absolute fuck?"
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Absolute Fucker 

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A person who goes on vacations when he's several years late on a deadline then acts put upon when people call him out on it.

Also a person who lures people into his home with promises of lemony cakes only to serve them Wild Cards and miniature sex dolls.
Me: Some would say that GRRM is an absolute fucker.

You: I agree with them.

Me: Hey, me too!

You: OK, it is settled then.
Absolute Fucker by Ye Olde Man Winter August 25, 2010
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Absolute fucking walnut 

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An insult that is used if someone is stupider than a fucking dumbass
In what world is a fish a kind of parrot, you absolute fucking walnut
Absolute fucking walnut by yaboi_doop October 29, 2018
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absolute fucking walnut 

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What someone is when they fuck up in a stupendously amazing fashion or are just incredibly stupid in general. Must be used with the following inflection:
"You're an absolute FUCKing walnut!"
-After Dave finished his explanation why whites and blacks are different species-
"Dave, you're an absolute FUCKing walnut!"
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