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If…were a person 

“If…were a person” is a catch all formulaic phrase designed to foreground the actions of a person as so definitive that their picture should be found under the definition of the word or phrase.

If used correctly the verb “to be” used in the sentence should be conjugated in the English Subjunctive tense because it presupposes a condition that does not actually exist preceded by the word: “if”.

Any number of colorful phrases can be used to complete this word formula. The only limit is the imagination of the observer.
Correct ways of using the formula: “If…were a person.”

If “cock blocking” were a person it would look like Joe Manchin vs.Biden’s attempts at legislation.

If “too soon” were a person it would look like Pete Davidson sending a selfie to Kanye West from Kim Kardashian’s bed after smashing.

Sounds like a personal problem 

When someone has a problem and expresses it out loud
John:I can't find my stuff.
You:You know what that sounds like?
John:What?
You:That sounds like a personal problem.
John:Fuck you.

John:I think I got something from that girl last night.
You:Sounds like a personal problem.

John:I hate my life.
You:Sounds like a personal problem.

a person who does not use social media 

Social media ghost (SMG)
A person who does not use social media
I can't find Don anywhere on social media. He must be a social media ghost (SMG) in other words he is a person who does not use social media.

A Person named Denver 

Denver is generally a very chill guy. He doesn’t talk much, but he tends to attract many people towards him because of the vibe that he gives off. He is very attractive even though he may not see it for himself. Denver is a super nice guy and has a good heart he doesn’t treat people in the same way that they treat him even if they’re malicious towards him. He will always go the extra mile for the people he cares about, he’s always willing to lend these people a helping hand even when he necessarily can’t afford to. He’s a very deep and passionate lover and when he loves he wants to love that person long term. He doesn’t believe in giving up he fights hard for what he really wants. Denver is a guy who will never give up on anything easily and despite the troubles he may have he comes out a conqueror. Overall If you know a Denver hold onto them and cherish them forever, because there will be no one else like them.
Brad: Hey do you know who that guy is?

Jake: Yeah, that’s A Person named Denver I hang out with him all the time he’s super chill.
A Person named Denver by divaqueen33 November 23, 2021

i like you as a person 

Basically there is no hope in a relationship so keep the friendship strong. They like who you are as a friend but they don’t see you going anywhere as they only like you as a friend.
“I like you “ - her

“ I like you as a person” - him

summon a persona 

To commit suicide by a gunshot to the head. In reference to Persona 3, where the main characters use an Evoker (a gun-like device) to summon the titular Personas by pointing it at their head and firing, almost as if committing suicide.
“Yo, what the fuck happened? I heard John died.”

“Well, he tried to summon a Persona.”
More from Urban Dictionary

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
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