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Palm me a dead one

meaning to pass off a less than perfect item, either physical or metaphorical, as though it were good.
Example 1: I asked a friend to loan me a lighter but he palmed me a dead one. (Meaning the lighter didn’t work)

Its origin are uncertain but date back to at least the Childers Muster (Rodeo) of 1997 where it is attributed to Truckin' Trev.

The phrase has been bastardized to be used in circumstances with similar meanings to the original.

Example 2: My housemate said her friend would show me a good time but it turned out she was trying to palm me a dead one. (In this case it means the opposite of a “live one”, that is, the friend was boring or dull or frigid)

Example 3: The salesman said the DVD would play on all players but he had palmed me a dead one. (meaning that the DVD wouldn’t play or was blank)

Example 4: I asked my roommate to get me some milk for my coffee but she palmed me a dead one. (Meaning the carton/bottle was empty or out of date)

The phrase is not to be mistaken for any similar phrases use in the United States relating to slipping someone a bribe. That is palming someone a “dead president”, referring to the faces of dead presidents on the notes.

Whether it be bulbs, pipes, lighters, DVDs, food etc friends don’t palm friends dead ones. Ever!
Palm me a dead one by DocSparkle April 17, 2009

comforting a dead one 

Attempting to re-arouse an overused johnson
woman: shall we love? it is a special night afterall...

man: you can try but after all the self pleasuring ive just indulged in you would just be comforting a dead one
comforting a dead one by berrylads August 18, 2011

mourning a dead one

boy 1: did you see Megan Fox in that bikini on that show last night?
boy 2: yeah, i was gonna tug me Johnson but i'd already indulged in several sessions of self-pleasuring and couldn't make him salute, all i ended up doing was mourning a dead one (proceeds to cry over memories)
mourning a dead one by berrylads August 23, 2011

a scale of one to dead 

A scale used to judge the screwed-upness of a situation, where a value of '1' indicates that a situation is only slightly screwed up, whilst a value of 'dead' indicates that the situation is extremely screwed up and nothing can be done about it. Unlike the more commonly used scale of one to ten, a scale of one to dead implies that the situation has already been screwed up and all that can be done now is to limit the damage. The scale is thus used to determine exactly how much damage control is possible, and if a more sensible option wouldn't be to just avoid the whole thing. Often used in connection with exams, tests and sexual health clinics. Variations include "a scale of one to fucked", and "a scale of one to OMG we're all gonna die".
Girl1: I haven't revised for this exam at all. I'm so screwed.
Girl2: How bad is it? On a scale of one to dead?
Girl1: Definitely dead. My mum's gonna kill me.
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Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
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Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
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