Skip to main content

New Zealand 

A mystical island that coved by clouds so you can't really see it 50% of the time, the land of sheep, kiwi, orc, elf, dwarf, wizard, short men with hairy legs, and the māori people.
For some unknown reason, the people here really love their pie.
It's pretty ok nothing much happened here. Give it a visit if you want somewhere peaceful.
Man New Zealand is so beautiful I want to go there.
New Zealand by little blue blob April 23, 2021

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant 

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick
“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

New Zealand nut sack

When a bag of nuts, preferably from New Zealand, is hurled at your nuts at a sickening speed, causing you to drop to your knees while simultaneously grabbing your testicles and screaming profanity.
Did you see yesterday when I threw that New Zealand nut sack directly at that guys nut sack. He fell to ground cursing his ass off and he was holding his nuts for five minutes.

new zealand safari

When a man or women kills an animal while hunting, then proceeds to engage in sexual acts with the corpse.
Jack took the gazelle down with one shot then a had a great new zealand safari

new zealand breakfast 

The act of waking up in the morning next to a sheep and bum fucking it until it produces enough milk to fill a cup of coffee.
John Key: We have a new initiative for solving NZ poverty. We'll be supplying New Zealand breakfast to decile 3 schools.

John Key: So what did you have for breakfast Tamati?

Tamati: Ae i hadd ae New Zealnd brekfst dox.

new zealand 

hey everyone leave new zealand alone, its a nice caring country that loves everyone. sure we may not be sophisticated or smart or diverse, but we make do with what we`ve got/. i myself am a plumber, my weekly pay packet is enough to feed my family of sheep and to buy a brush to keep the wool out of my eyes. i love new zealand. sometimes i stand on the west coast and cock my ear over towards them aussies to see if theyre talking about us lol but they never talk about us, i dont think theyre even aware that we exist. i love aussies. i wished i could hire a tug boat to tow new zealand across the tasman and join it onto the east coast of australia, then i`ll be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that i`m finally home. thankyou australia from the bottom of my heart.
please mrs helen clarke make new zealand an australian state.
new zealand by growingpains August 7, 2006