Topical Wank

Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.

during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".

by Unknown Minman July 12, 2010

tropical wank

Masturbating, while sitting down in the shower. Spray cold water for a couple of minutes. After that you turn on the heat making the room humid. The key is to close your eyes and imagine you are sitting under a waterfall in Thailand.

Oh shit ! Chris flooded his hotel room again, he must have been having a tropical wank

by Winfield Green June 4, 2017

Tropical wank

A type of masturbation that happens only in an environment where it is hot outside, the window is open and a warm breeze permeates the air. Extra points if there is a fan on or some form of light air conditioning to really get that fruity feeling.

I had a tropical wank last night, you should try it!

by Sensualgreg July 18, 2022