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Topical Wank

Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.
during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".
Topical Wank by Unknown Minman July 12, 2010
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tropical wank 

Masturbating, while sitting down in the shower. Spray cold water for a couple of minutes. After that you turn on the heat making the room humid. The key is to close your eyes and imagine you are sitting under a waterfall in Thailand.
Oh shit ! Chris flooded his hotel room again, he must have been having a tropical wank

Tropical wank 

A type of masturbation that happens only in an environment where it is hot outside, the window is open and a warm breeze permeates the air. Extra points if there is a fan on or some form of light air conditioning to really get that fruity feeling.
I had a tropical wank last night, you should try it!
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
stove by anthony willison March 18, 2004
Word of the Day on August 4, 2026

Walky-Talky 

A derogatory term for able bodied people or people that can walk. This definition was coined by disabled influencer Valerie Weber
Person in wheelchair: “look at that walky-talky over there.”

Friend in wheelchair: *looking at person who is walking* “yeah haha
Walky-Talky by odd muffin October 5, 2021
Word of the Day on August 3, 2026

Scrapnel 

(N) :
All pieces left over after an art project or home improvement.
"After we made the decorations for the party, there was 'scrapnel' all over the floor"
Scrapnel by IceSniper February 22, 2025
Word of the Day on August 2, 2026
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!
Hardo by Thuhkilluh September 4, 2014
Word of the Day on August 1, 2026