The Nick Condition thankfully rarely seen disease, with several common and a few not so common symptoms. It's created from a bacterial organism, known as a Tadiumvir (often called the Nick
Bug) It is carried through sperm, and grows in the childs
brain. Early childhood symptoms include misfitism and hate from the other
children.
As the subject approaches puberty, the Nick Bug is fully grown, and begins to secret feces onto the
brain. This confuses and poisons the
brain, leaving the many symptoms listed in full here:
-Lack of Common Sense
-Lonliness
-Denial of Lonliness
-Homosexuality
-Denial of Homosexuality
-Constant itching of the penis, testicles, gooch and asscrack
-Delightful sensations from anal penetration
-Acne
-Horribly thick and wiry hair
-Chronic fucked up haircut
-Mild hallucinations (for example, the subject making airplane sounds or believing he/she has friends)
-Lack of dress sense (large, bulky
winter jackets, Dragonball Z shirts and gray sweat
pants that are too tight are common)
-Interest in unbelievably childish things
-Chronic
Masturbation
-Poor eyesight, requiring glasses
-Useless ears that not only prevent him from hearing you hate him, but also make his glasses fall off, requiring a rope or string attachment, often found on librarians and old
bitches
-Several learning disorders including ADD, ADHD, Teretts, Fucktardation
-Denial of Fucktardedness
-Freakish height
-Lack of muscle or fat
-Weakness
-Vulnerability to beatings
-A lifetime supply of Virginity
Unfortunatly, The Nick Condition is uncurable as of April 17, 2007. And we don't really want a cure either. We'd be much happier having these freaks around to pick on.
Every school, every town, every place has a Nick. What happens when they grow up? The Nick Bug dies, and its absense drives the subject into a deep
depression, fueled by lack of social skills and intelligence. They usually commit a quiet suicide or sink into obscurity. However, some react dangerously, and attempt to perform a killing spree at their
high school. But with their stupidity (it never fully fades) they try to use
water guns, and end up crying at their failage.
