The Splits

Wanking to the point of self harm.

When one has wanked ones self to the point where the foreskin tears/splits in one, or several locations not unlike lips splitting in cold weather. Continuing to wank in the face this affliction can lead to further splits as well as a slight sting when urine or seamen makes contact with said wound.

Often appears unwelcome and unannounced and is only cured through a period of abstinence.

To wank, perphance to cum...oh wait i've got the splits.

The Splits by The Finishers January 11, 2009

the splits

A sexual position to be done by very skilled gymnasts/acrobats only. The girl stands on her head and spreads her legs open to do the splits, while the guy stands and puts his dick in her.

Milly and Jack did the splits last night at the bar.

the splits by Chaotic Good Half Elf Mage January 31, 2012

The Splits

When one's urine stream is divided/diverted in > 1 direction.
The challenge is to recognize it quickly & get the majority if not all of the urine in the toilet bowl. Piss shivers have the same effect.

Whoa, in the middle of the night I had a wicked case of the splits & peed all over the floor, wall & toilet.

The Splits by TMoneyID April 5, 2010

Doing the Splits 

means to bow down or split your morals to get money. Mostly used against women who speak their mind and people do not agree

Another day and another “legend” doing the splits on it for the yearly TKO gift basket… 🥱

Doing the Splits by thelostcauseofwords September 24, 2025

The Iraq Splits 

the act of doing the splits on a camels hump to stimulate your g-spot

i went to the zoo and i just had to try the Iraq splits

The Iraq Splits by thecroatiancrockpot February 2, 2023

The Underwater Splits 

when you are forced to watch someone doing the under water splits over and over again until you almost drown

I'm not going to Johnny's house again. I can't watch any more of The Underwater Splits.

The Underwater Splits by Lorraine Haul May 21, 2024

banana splits off the nuts crunchin 

A phrase used to describe something truly amazing. It is also used to denote a good time had.

Mark: Holy shit, did you go the tool concert last night??
Ryan: Hell yeah, that shit was banana splits off the nuts crunchin'

----

Kerry: Man that party was dootang.
Ambo: Fuck yeah, that mess was Banana splits off the nuts crunchin, dootang!

banana splits off the nuts crunchin by mochiko September 14, 2008