The Jedi 

The Jedi (/ˈdʒɛdaɪ/) are the main protagonists in the Star Wars universe, alongside the Rebel Alliance. The Jedi Order is depicted as an ancient monastic, academic, meritocratic, and quasi-militaristic organization whose origin dates back approximately 25,000 years before the events of A New Hope.

Jedi were powerful Force-wielders and adjudicators tasked by the Galactic Republic to be the guardians of peace and order in the galaxy; they defend and protect all sapient life, never attack. The Order consisted of polymaths: teachers, philosophers, scientists, engineers, physicians, diplomats, negotiators, warriors, and peacekeepers. A level of diversity extends throughout the organization, composed of hundreds of different species and thousands of different worlds, some outside the Republic itself. When operating beyond the limits of Republic territory, they act autonomously and make decisions with the potential to affect countless lives. They were often the first representatives of the Republic encountered by new species and nations.

Jedi philosophy emphasized self-improvement through knowledge and wisdom and selfless service through acts of charity, citizenship, and volunteerism. The Jedi denounce emotions as the root cause of mortal suffering; they believe fear, anger and love cause sentient beings to lash out in conflict and impede rational action to do what is objectively correct action. A Jedi’s traditional weapon is the lightsaber.

Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?
No
I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you.

The Jedi by xX_LordGaben69_Xx September 1, 2020

The Jedi 

It's were a girl sucks to dicks at once

Damn daryl britney sure is the jedi.

The Jedi by The Stiffmeister April 14, 2008

The Jedi Code 

There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no death; there is the Force.

The Jedi must follow the Jedi Code to maintain a path of light

The Jedi Code by Juswi Husai June 6, 2005

The Jedi shit 

When your severly constapated, and you have to use The force to get that bad boy moving

Luke skywalker : fucking hell Obe One, iv being trying to burst this shit out of me the last hour here and notings happening

Obe one: use the force Luke

Luke: sound lad that done the job

#The jedi shit

The Jedi shit by Dots365 October 21, 2016

The Jedi Mind Trick 

When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".

She was sleepy and I was too lazy to get the condoms, so, I used the jedi mind trick after pleasuring her.

The Jedi Mind Trick by johnny youknow September 8, 2012

The Jedi Fallen Order Disaster 

One faithful night, a young kid from New Jersey named Chris Dorner was playing Jedi Fallen Order. All was going well until he got to the last level of the game. He was fighting the Second Sister when he started to get a little angry. He started yelling and screaming and said "FUCK THIS BITCH!!!!!" to a bunch of pixels that were kicking his ass. Papa Dorner came in and said, "CHRIS!" and there was the sound of Chris disconnecting from the discord call. It was a sight to bold and Chris Dorner is a bitch.

Hey Chris Dorner you remember The Jedi Fallen Order Disaster?

The Jedi Fallen Order Disaster by Chris Dorner Bitch March 4, 2023

Return of the Jedi 

noun: A variant on the "Alaskan Pipeline." (Which is when one takes a shit in a condom, lets it freeze over night, and then proceed to masturbate with it.)
The Return of the Jedi implies pleasuring oneself with the pipeline and then squeezing the frosty turd out of the condom and into a person's asshole; allowing it to thaw and then shitting it out again.

"Man, this broad I had sex with last night was such a freak. Not only did she want to do the Alaskan pipeline, but then she wanted the Return of the Jedi too!"

Return of the Jedi by heylookitsmarco2 February 6, 2009