The Gropening 

When you are hella bored scrolling through your phone and you just squeeze your dick and mess around with it without a thought in your mind

Guy 1: Yeah I had The Gropening last night cause I was sooo bored
Guy 2: I get that, I had one a few night ago too

The Gropening by The Fuckerer June 4, 2023

The grampening 

A point in ones life which takes place after the normal adult stage and before the "always has a bowl of expired werthers originals" stage in which a person is grumpy and unpleased all the time

"Hey have you guys talked to Jim lately? He seems really grumpy ... I think he's going through the grampening"

The grampening by grampening victim June 1, 2017

ripe for the groping 

a chick who is just ASKING to be groped by wearing high skirts and/or tank tops.

DAMN! Catherine is just standing there ripe for the groping!

ripe for the groping by forever_undeadd March 28, 2009

The Goosening 

The Armageddon of the Geese. Do not try to resist. All hail the Honk.

The Goosening is here.

The Goosening by All hail the honk October 18, 2022

groping the goose 

Slang for a male masturbating or grabbing his dick

Random guy: my dicks raw after I was groping the goose

groping the goose by gooser94 January 11, 2014

Grouponing the numbers 

Skewing the numbers to make them put your position in a better light knowing they don't represent the whole situation.

Guy 1: Why is your girl mad at you?
Guy 2: I told her I went out with the guys for a couple beers.
Guy1: Dude, you had a couple beers THEN a million shots. You were totally Grouponing the numbers there!

Grouponing the numbers by The Rob Show July 14, 2011

Groping in the Dark (Megashesh ba'afela) 

This phrase is from Hebrew and despite the somewhat sexual connotation in English, merely means 'clueless' or someone who is unbearably stupid.

Forget David's explanation. He's groping in the dark.

Groping in the Dark (Megashesh ba'afela) by Rose Z September 8, 2005