The greatest thrash metal band to never get famous. Holy
shit they deserved it though.
Formed in 1983 in the Bay Area, right as thrash was getting off the ground, Testament (one of my favorite band names, too) finalized their lineup of Chuck
Billy as singer Alex Skolnick on lead guitar, Eric Peterson on rhythm, Greg
Christian on
bass, and Paul Bostaph on drums.
Testament released a demo in '
86, and then The Legacy in 1987, which was actually really good, even though it didn't hit mainstream because
rock nowadays is for PUSSIES! GOD DAMN IT, WHY DON'T PEOPLE
LIKE METAL?! THEY ACTUALLY HAVE TALENT, AND FUCKING NICKLEBACK RELEASED THE SAME FUCKING SONG, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BITCHING ABOUT
LOVE AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT, JUST RENAMING IT CONSTANTLY! FUCK POPULARITY, TESTAMENT SHOULD BE IN THE BIG FIVE OF THRASH! I'M AWARE THERE'S ONLY FOUR (
Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer) BUT THERE SHOULD BE FIVE, GOD DAMMIT!
Ahem. Excuse me. Anyways, they followed up the Legacy with the New Order, which kind of got people noticing that these badasses are really fucking good. In 1989 and 1990, they released Practice What You Preach and Souls of Black, two of my favorite albums of theirs. PWYP moved away from the
weird, Black Sabbathy lyrics and into the more political side of metal (hence the name and title track). Souls of Black was a little less thrash metal, though they did find other ways to kick ass on the album, though once again, the title track is awesome.
Following Souls of Black, Testament got screwed over by grunge, lost Michael Skolnick, did God knows what because Michael Skolnick left, and released a few crappier albums, trying to go more mainstream.
In 2001,
Chuck, one of the two guys of Testament to actually play the entire time since its inception, was diagnosed with cancer, so all
shit stopped, thank God. If they released another album
like First Strike is Deadly, I'd've shit a chicken and jumped off a bridge. And not necessarily in that order.
Anyways,
Chuck's
fine, and good enough to record with... (gasp) Alex Skolnick? I thought you were in that Trans-Russia... something... Anyways, they recorded the Formation of Damnation, my third favorite album, and by far their best since the late 80's.
TESTAMENT IS BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS! HELL YEAH!
Fucking poser who likes Enter Sandman, so therefore thinks
Metallica is the best
shit since smack, and they work as album reviewer in Rolling Stone: "ENTER SANDMAN!!!"
Actual
metalhead who knows what the fuck good music is:
"Yeah, it's OK."
Fucking poser: "NO IT FUCKING ROOLZ!
METALLICA! BLACK ALBUM!!!"
Metalhead- "No, not really. It shows how much
Metallica doesn't care about their music, and how greedy they are, because in the eighties, when nobody knew them, they just played for the hell of it, and released four of the greatest albums ever to come out of the metal genre. But, then, in 1991, they decided to sell out, just to make a few more dollars, and release the Black Album, which is a testament (yes, that was on purpose) to how they don't care about their thrash fanbase, which has more heart in it than all the little pussies like you who think they
like metal but it's really just
shit.
Testament didn't sell out, they just tried to change their style following the departure of some of the greatest musicians the world has ever known. They don't care about money, or fame, or anything. They play good music, and that's all that matters.
Fucking Poser: ...
(Fucking Poser's head explodes from the amount of knowledge just inserted into his fucktard little head).
