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"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetheart says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Darling, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy girl takes your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going topless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along with her.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... you are told to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the car park.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!
by alvit July 07, 2009
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Jul 1 Word of the Day
sending two texts in a row without a reply inbetween.
Rachel: whats up?
Tessa: not to much! hbu?
Tessa: dude, i'm so bored.
Rachel: stop double texting me.
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2
The opposite of news, dated and irrelevent information.
Those are olds, not news.
by mrouie February 27, 2018
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3
1) Aged. Can be referring to something alive or nonliving.

2) Outdated.

3) No longer funny.
1) My fifth-grade elementary teacher was old when I was in her class, and presumably hasn't gotten any younger since I left.

2) The Nintendo 64 is old, but I still use it more than my GameCube.

3) Jokes about Jim Mora (Sr.) whining about his miserable Colts team aren't old yet, despite the fact that he conducted the infamous press conference more than three years ago.
by Diggity Monkeez March 05, 2005
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4
Old is when its more expensive to buy the candles, than the cake to put it on.
candles cost $.25 a piece, and you are 60 years old making the total cost of candles $15. the cake costs $4.
by Wayne Static May 11, 2005
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6
On a message board, when someone (more than likely a n00b), posts something that has already been buried in the population's long term memory.
n00b: "Oh look, Landover Baptist! This has gotta be the freakiest site on the net!" Admin: "OLD." *thread locked*
by Dodger of Zion March 28, 2004
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