telesto

The best weapon in the video game series, Destiny. It's so good, it causes popular twitch streamers to lose their mind and act like childish imbeciles when they get killed by it.

I just got killed by a guardian using Telesto. I shall take to twitter and end this madness.

by AJ1311 October 10, 2018

Telesto

A very popular fusion rifles from the game Destiny / Destiny 2. An iconic weapon that fires off tiny purple fireworks that explode after a short delay. Sort of like explosive diarrhea when you think its finally stopped. Players often like to rhyme the guns name with other words.

Person 1: Hey dude, what's your favorite fusion rifle?
Person 2: Telesto, its the besto.

by Atlas_975 October 10, 2018

Telesto

A gun created by bungie for the game destiny 2. it Is also bungie's worst nightmare as it always breaks the game just after it was fixed.

'hey dude wanna play destiny 2 ?'
'servers down'
'why ?'
'telesto"
"oh..."

by SamTheSamSams March 20, 2020

japanese telescope

When the girl jerks off the man's penis in resemblance to a telescope. The man proceeds to cum in the woman's eye making her squint like a Japanese person.

I have the Japanese telescope ready ;).

by Chester St. Rumpterfrabble February 9, 2017

telescope

One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.

(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)

*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*

LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?

RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?

RAJ: Why? You writing a book?

SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!

SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

*Howard walks over to the table.*

HOWARD: Hey.

LEONARD: Hey.

SHELDON: Hello.

HOWARD: Hey.

RAJ: Hey.

LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*

HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!

RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!

HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!

RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!

HOWARD: Fine!

RAJ: Thank you!

RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013

Teletoon

Canadian Cartoon Network. Available in both French and English, due to the country's bilinguism. Used to have a Teletoon at Night segment, which would be equivalent to Adult Swim, though it was closed on March 31st, 2019 (though it still exists in the French version of Teletoon) and got replaced with, well, Adult Swim.

Canadian: Hey did you see that new episode of Teen Titans Go on Teletoon yesterday at 8?
French Canadian: What? Wasn't it a Total Dramarama episode?
American: What the hell is a Teletoon?

by poudink November 29, 2020

telestroking

A snarky and disparaging term used to describe the commonplace distracted attendance of telemedicine appointments by tuned-out and exhausted medical professionals during the Covid-19 Pandemic.

I logged onto the “telemed” appointment and was hit immediately by the vibe that my doctor was telestroking his way through the numbing electronic workday he was trying hard to embrace with an abnormally forced charm and weirdly vacant grin.

by Dr Bunnygirl February 25, 2021