Teleshopping 

Channels dedicated to pointless gadgets you will never need, unbelievably fake photoshopped images, patronizing rhetorical questions and the worst actors on the face of the earth.

Teleshopping:

**HEY! Are you a fat loser with no friends?**

Guy at home: No.

**Then you need,THE FAT-BUSTER-CARDIO-CRUNCHER-ABS-BUILDER-FRIEND-FINDER 3000! It was £300 but you can get now for just £299.99!
Just Call: 0800-IMAFATLOSERWITHNOFRIENDSANDNEEDTHEFATBUSTERCARDIOCRUNCHERABSBUILDERFRIENDFINDER3000PLS Terms and conditions apply batteries not included.**

Teleshopping by Ashleyy(: February 20, 2009

Telescoping 

A form of urethra play, in which an individual with a very large penis is fucked in the urethra by someone with a smaller penis

Dude#1“Bro u ever stick a cotton bud up in ya dickhole? Shits dope”

Dude#2“Bitch please u ever try telescoping? Get yo dick out and lemme fuck your dick with my dick”

Telescoping by Shittybottomus November 28, 2018

telescoping 

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

telescoping by luvchild1 September 22, 2009

Telescoping 

Doing research on someone in a professional capacity, as preparation for an interview or informational meet up. I.e. you've only interacted briefly through email, so now you need to know what they look like, where/what they studied, and what work they're doing now, etc. before you hop on the phone or meet for an in-person coffee.

Can also be purely interest-based, e.g. someone you think is doing cool shit, want to get to know, and possibly collab with.

Basically internet stalking, but with the goal to come prepared to have a great convo and finesse a connection.

Something ambitious millennial artists and yuppies do, so they're in the know with dope people in their industry.

I'm getting coffee with them tomorrow, but I don't even know what they look like, so I'll have to do some telescoping tonight.

Telescoping by rwisgjg August 22, 2019

Hubble Telescoping

Receiving such high definition nudes from a distant land, that one learns new information about the human anatomy.

Guy 1: This girl ive been talking to online from Nepal has been Hubble Telescoping me recently.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: This image quality is so great! I had no idea the clitorus is at the TOP of the vagina!!

Hubble Telescoping by YungArab69 October 28, 2017

Telescoping Penis 

(noun) a penis that slides back into itself so that it becomes smaller and smaller, which can be the result of--among other things--cold, fear, and ugly women.

"The cold pool caused his telescoping penis to all but disappear."

Telescoping Penis by Holly M S May 22, 2010

Telescoping 

Pushing a guy's dick upwards inside itself, resembling a collapsing telescope.

Telescoping is like getting hard in reverse.

Telescoping by @definitions December 4, 2018