Surface Warfare 

Surface Warfare: A big pain in the ass fraction of the United States Navy. One of the grossest miscalculations of adequately spent tax dollars in history. Commonly employs "Hansel and Gretel" techniques to recruit young, vulnerable, and generally ignorant young men into a workforce of pissed off sailors. Recruits young women to satisfy the overly horny young men while underway. (Note: while some young men like to satisfy each other, it is "not gay underway") Here, you can look forward to getting a new boss every two years who has never been on a ship, does not know anything about what you do, and proceeds to tell you how you could do your job better. You eat food that is rejected by the penal system. You sleep in a bed bigger than most toddler cribs, in a noisy room full of 40 other people (most notably the flatulent Filipino above you who masturbates every night by reciting poems in Tagalic.) You live your life on the edge, only ever knowing when you will leave work when the work list is checked over at lunchtime. Your boss has no problem setting you to port and starboard watches, and leaving at noon. You are used to coming back into port on Monday, because coming in Friday night would cost an extra $2,000 vice the $10,000 it costs to stay underway until Monday. If ever you get too comfortable where you are, you will be relocated, free of cost, to a shit hole in the middle of a desert. This is known as IA, or "Improper Allocation." Those who try to get out are promoted, and those who want to stay in get forced out. Officers come in several varieties. First, there is an LDO. This officer has felt the pain of the bluejackets, and strives to protect them as he turns his wrath toward the rest of the wardroom. Second is an OCS Grad. This officer has a lackadaisical approach to leading people and really treats the Navy as more of a hobby. Third is the Academy Grad. These officers put themselves above everyone else, and consider any mundane task beneath them. They have no problem relaying their perceived inferiority of all other officers. (See United States Naval Academy) Finally, there is the NROTC Grad. This officer remains bitter that they had a taste of life, and still chose to imprison themselves in mediocrity. As an officer, you begin your career by stabbing other officers in the back, stepping on your division to get medals, and lying about war incidents to earn purple hearts (see examples). As you are promoted, your goal becomes to demean your subordinates, and see how much humiliation they can take before they turn against each other. Your other hobbies include putting two scorpions in a shoebox and shaking it to see if they sting each other.

"Which community are you going for?"

"Surface Warfare."

"I didn't know you were a masochist!"

Surface Warfare by Pink Bunny May 27, 2006

Surface Warfare Officer 

Easily the largest community of officers in the United States Navy, SWOs drive ships, launch missiles, oversee safety procedures, control the public affairs outlook of ships, plan tactics, conduct safety inspections, make sure the engines are running smoothly, stand watches, maintain weapons caches, ensure smooth power flow, throw everyone around them under a bus so they can sleep and/or get promoted, cry nonstop, attempt to commit suicide but fail because they have absolutely no energy, and much more. Basically, they do everything on a ship with the notable exceptions of: sleep, have free time, and enjoy their life.

Despite the financial, educational, and prestige incentives, the Navy has an extremely difficult time retaining SWOs because their lives suck so badly. It's generally the last choice of designators, filled by people who either have to serve in the Navy because it paid for their college, or lunatics who volunteer to be a SWO and almost immediately regret their decision.

Navy Pilot: Hey guys, wanna go to a bar after work?
Intel Officer: Sure!
SEAL Officer: Sounds like a good idea.
Supply Officer: I'm in.
Public Affairs Officer: Definitely!
Surface Warfare Officer: After work? Work never stops...ever...(cries)

Surface Warfare Officer by iLikeSoup March 28, 2011

Grindset

The grindset is a contemporary ideology of self-exploitation disguised as strength, deeply tied to the aesthetics of the “sigma male” and to new digital forms of patriarchy. It promotes the idea that human worth depends on productivity, economic success, absolute emotional control, and the ability to work endlessly, turning vulnerability, rest, community, and tenderness into signs of weakness. Beneath its rhetoric of discipline and power often lies a profound inability to relate healthily to pain, fragility, and human interdependence.

“That’s the grindset, brother. While weak men sleep and complain, sigma males stay disciplined, work in silence, suppress emotions, and build power while everyone else wastes time chasing comfort.”

Grindset by Omega-Male May 22, 2026

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022