Ohio University

A public university in Athens, Ohio, OU is a huge party school where the only things to do are party or study because, again, it's in Athens, Ohio. Unfortunately for its reputation, most people choose the former if given a choice. Although obviously not true of absolutely every student, the majority of its students are only there because they couldn't get into the academically superior Ohio State University or Miami University.
Why did Ohio University have to cancel its reenactment of the story of Christmas? It couldn't find three wise men and a virgin
by iLikeSoup May 08, 2010
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gym teacher

Those who can, do. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym.
That gym teacher has a college degree? All he does is yell, sweat, and make us watch bad sports movies.
by iLikeSoup February 23, 2010
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Multi-Level Marketing

Commonly abbreviated MLM, it's a form of selling a product whereby one person recruits other salespeople, who recruits other salespeople, ad nausea and after each sale, everybody above the salesman gets a small piece of commission. To make money in one (98%+ of people don't), one should place much more emphasis on recruiting than sales. Amway is probably the most well-known MLM.

Many MLMs have "optional" national meetings, motivational books and tapes, and other various expenses. The cost of these comes out of pocket of the individual. As a general rule, if you can be one of the first people to join a successful MLM, you'll make a lot of money, especially if you can sell all of this crap to your downline. However, if you're not in this lucky 1-2%, you'll honestly be lucky to break even in your expenses.

There is some technical difference between a pyramid scheme, which is illegal, and an MLM, which is legal. However, nobody but the high-priced lawyers which keep MLMs in business and stealing the money of its starry-eyed employees seem to know what this difference is.
There are too many Multi-Level Marketing organizations to count. After one is shut down by bankruptcy or the government, two new ones sprout from the ground.
by iLikeSoup March 12, 2011
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Surface Warfare Officer

Easily the largest community of officers in the United States Navy, SWOs drive ships, launch missiles, oversee safety procedures, control the public affairs outlook of ships, plan tactics, conduct safety inspections, make sure the engines are running smoothly, stand watches, maintain weapons caches, ensure smooth power flow, throw everyone around them under a bus so they can sleep and/or get promoted, cry nonstop, attempt to commit suicide but fail because they have absolutely no energy, and much more. Basically, they do everything on a ship with the notable exceptions of: sleep, have free time, and enjoy their life.

Despite the financial, educational, and prestige incentives, the Navy has an extremely difficult time retaining SWOs because their lives suck so badly. It's generally the last choice of designators, filled by people who either have to serve in the Navy because it paid for their college, or lunatics who volunteer to be a SWO and almost immediately regret their decision.
Navy Pilot: Hey guys, wanna go to a bar after work?
Intel Officer: Sure!
SEAL Officer: Sounds like a good idea.
Supply Officer: I'm in.
Public Affairs Officer: Definitely!
Surface Warfare Officer: After work? Work never stops...ever...(cries)
by iLikeSoup March 12, 2011
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thin privilege

In theory, this is the "privilege" that thin people earn for being thin, including not being perceived as lazy, lower healthcare costs, increased likelihood of finding a sexually attractive partner, increased earnings potential, and more. While all of the preceding examples may be true, it misconstrues the definition of privilege. Privileges are given, not earned, and the recipients and those without them can do nothing to change them. White privilege is a good example of that; either you're born white or you're not. Thin privilege, on the other hand, is often worked for by people who would otherwise be fat but instead eat right and exercise. Therefore, thin privilege doesn't actually exist.
Doctor: Ms. BBW, I'm afraid that if you don't start working out regularly and cutting down the saturated fat very soon, you'll likely be dead before you're fifty.
Fat girl: What? How dare you say that?!! THIN PRIVILEGE RACIST!!! There's nothing I can do about it, this is my body type! *Wolfs down a Big Mac.*
Doctor: How did you get a hamburger in here? Nevermind; did you know that about 100 years ago, obesity was very rare? Fast forward three or four generations. People live increasingly sedentary lifestyles, eat more, and the food they eat is higher in fat, cholesterol, and sodium. You're saying this is all a coincidence?
Fat girl: What do you know about science and medicine? I have a random article that proves I'm right! YOU CAN'T HANDLE MUH CURVES!!!
by iLikeSoup November 03, 2013
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placebo effect

This is mind over matter; when somebody believes that something will happen to his health, it does even when it wouldn't have otherwise. This generally happens when doctors tell patients that their health will improve even though there's no logical reason to believe that; the patients' optimism then helps heal them.
The doctor gave Jimmy sugar capsules and told them it would cure his headaches; it did even though the capsules didn't do anything. Classic placebo effect!
by iLikeSoup February 17, 2010
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fraternity

This is a group of males in college who pay money to spend time together. They do a lot of community service, like a couple of hours a month, to prove to the world how great they are. They host a ton of parties with copious amounts of booze; females can come for free, but few men not affiliated with the fraternity are allowed in without paying. This makes it easier for frat boys to get laid. People in fraternities tend to preppy and metrosexual or absolutely disgusting slobs; there is rarely any middle ground.
College student: How's the frat coming along?
Fraternity brother: It's not a frat. It's a fraternity!
CS: Uhh, ok. Sorry, I guess?
FB: You guess? You wouldn't call your country a cunt, would you?
CS: Well, I don't now, but I might if it was something I could choose to be in, I paid a ton of money for it, and the only benefit of being in it was so I could pay money to hang around with a lot of other like-minded homophobic rapists who claim they're better than everyone else. But hey, paying an extra 8 grand a year is so worth it for the bonds of brotherhood, am I right? My actual brother, you know, my twin, hasn't gone through nearly the same things as I have, like getting raped up the ass by the VP of recruitment. That's love, right there.
by iLikeSoup February 23, 2010
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