The regionally appropriate term for "hamburgers" in Albany, New York.
Though phrased as "steamed", a steamed ham is typically grilled, and served on a platter often containing more than a quarter dozen of the aforementioned dish and various french fries.
Not to be confused with "steamed clams", a similarly phrased dish which can often be mistaken for steamed hams.
Oh, no, I said, “steamed hams.” That’s what I call hamburgers.
by McDaddy's Big Patties February 20, 2018
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Typical definition said by Skinner when he waited the lunch.
Principal Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.

Superintendant Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Principal Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.

Superintendant Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.

Principal Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.

Superintendant Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?

Principal Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.

Superintendant Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."

Principal Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.

Superintendant Chalmers: I see.

Chalmers takes a bite of the "steamed ham"

Superintendant Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.

Principal Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe.

Superintendant Chalmers: For steamed hams.

Principal Skinner: Yes

Superintendant Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

shows Skinner the grill marks

Principal Skinner: Uh... you know... one thing I sh -... 'scuse me for one second.
by M4ttl December 26, 2016
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Thicc thighs in yoga pants that are hot hot and moist.
At the gym
Bro 1: "Yoga class is about to let out"
Bro 2: "Let's go see some steamed hams"
by Slick Thicc March 28, 2020
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Hamburgers. An Albany, New York expression, its not to be confused with steamed clams.
"No, I said, steamed HAMS".
by Delaware Mike November 16, 2007
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Well, seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Ah, superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
eh.
Oh lee gods! my roast is ruined. But what if.. I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? ho ho ho, delightfully devilish seymour.
SEYMOUR!
Oh, superintendent, I was just, uh stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise, care to join me?
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?
Oh, that isn't smoke, It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering haamburgers.
I thought you said we're having steamed clams?
D'oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Yes. It's a.. regional dialect.
From what region?
uhh... Upstate new york.
Really? Well I'm from utica, and I never heard anyone use the phrase steamed hams.
Oh not in utica, no, It's an albany expression.

I see.
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at krusty burger.
Oh, no, Patented skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
For steamed hams
Yes.
And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Ye-
You kno-
one thing I should..
Excuse me for one second.
Of course.
Well, that was wonderful, good time was had by all, I'm pooped.

Yes, I should be, GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING TH- to be continued
Steamed Hams Is the best art piece ever done.
by zoetbh July 8, 2018
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(1) Skinners excuse to eat fast food
(2) hamburgers in Albany, New York
D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. That's what I call hamburgers.
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Buying fast food and telling people that you made it.
Aunt Becky "makes" hamburgers for us every year, but we all know she's just steaming hams.
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