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software update 

In computing, a binary executable package, usually delivered via the internet, intended to improve, by adding new features, or fix problems in a certain piece of software. Usually used an excuse by software companies in modern times, to deliver crappy software on the basis that it can be updated sometime in the future. Users therefore become guinea pigs for almost any kind of exotic idea that software companies can conjure. The is the electronic analog of governments lacing water supplies with LSD. "Let's just release it and see what happens."

The problem with such updates is that they are becoming more and more numerous and almost always tend to screw stuff up, rather than fix anything. Software updates, for example, are notorious for screwing up stuff that used to work just fine, and fixing nothing that you actually gave a shit about. These days one can expect to spend at least 1% of their lives dealing with software updates; either in the update delivery process or in the googling of solutions to fix the problems created by such updates, or just googling "why so many f^$%$#n updates?"

Updates almost always are initated at the worst possible time, like when you are in the middle of working on an important report, or sending lewd pictures to your friends.

Some companies believe that they own your internet quota and thus make software updates as large as possible (the equivalent of re-downloading the whole software program from scratch) as opposed to an incremental update.
Boss: "Jack, have you finished that report I asked you to do?"
Jack: "No, I haven't because my computer is jammed up installing software updates."

You remind me of a software update. When I see you I usually think "not now." 

What you say to someone you don't like.
You remind me of a software update. When I see you I usually think "not now."

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026