Smarmite

The fictional micro-organism (much like cooties) which infects a person who comes in contact or makes excessive conversation with a carrier. Said carrier is noted for exceptional smarminess or false earnestness.

He was so obsequious in his responses that I found myself in great need of a shower fearing I might catch smarmites.

by Moonstaff June 8, 2010

Smarmite

When someone is being a smarmy cunt on purpose, you ask them if they want a big jar of smarmite

Person 1: I think <friend> finds me annoying...
Person 2: I wonder that about everyone
Person 1: I know I dont find you annoying
Person 2: I meant you =p
Person 1: My arent we Mr. smarmite today

by Shaun 'intel' Miner July 24, 2009

Smarmite

A way of describing a smarmy individual, someone who loves their own opinion and runs their mouth off frequently.
Can't decide if you like or hate them though

Dan: Yeh I'm not keen on that Pete
Matt: Yeh he's proper smarmite like.

by Word Kreme January 5, 2018

Schrodinger's Marmite

Something that you love and hate at the same time, like Schrodinger's cat which existed in a state of being both alive and dead. The quantum superposition of the two emotions (love and hate) may collapse at some point in the future.

Schrodinger's Marmite can be used instead of the term Love Hate Relationship

Bill "I really like watching YouTube videos"
Ted "I have a love hate relationship with it, for me it's Schrodinger's Marmite"
Bill "oh you are just too clever for me"

by Mr. E. Mann. June 27, 2013

smarmie

A shallow, wishy-washy, inconsistent person whose approach to interacting with others is focused on his/her own interests and what serves him/her best in the moment (it's all about me). They ride the "current wave" or poll. Not capable of sincere, meaningful relationships.

He's so smarmie; you can't count on him or know where you really stand with him.

by Susan W August 4, 2007

smarmies

An obnoxiously stupid individual masquerading in a postion of authority.

A smarmie was posted near the entrance to the washrooms and demanded to see the hotel pass key upon entering and leaving the area.

by Bob Oswin July 15, 2005

smarmier

Having, even more so, an attitude marked by smugness and ingratiation, heightened by false male machismo.

Calaid is the second coming of Andrew Dice Clay, but smarmier.

by lleian December 14, 2008