Sealed Envelope

Name: Sealed Envelope Mug
Brand: Urban Dictionary
Price: 25.00 USD
Availability: InStock

An act performed immediately after sex; moments before achieving male orgasm, the man pulls out and shoots his load into the crevice of the girls ass. Afterwards, he presses her ass cheeks together for an undetermined amount of time. When he lets go, her cheeks will be stuck together, thus forming a sealed envelope.

After mom went to work, I shot my load between Van's ass cheeks and gave her a sealed envelope. She was waddling around like a penguin.

Sealed Envelope by D.H.G. October 18, 2008

Get the Sealed Envelope mug.

Urban Dictionary Merch

Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.

The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

Add to cart $24.95

Choose size $32.95

Choose size $49.95

Add to cart $29.95

Prices in USD. Free US shipping. International shipping and regional book fees are shown before payment.

Sealed Envelope

When your girl isnt in the mood and rolls over. well her mistake! She passes out and you proceed to wack off, when you about to nut, you aim right between her ass cheecks. When she wakes up, she will be opening your sealed envelope

Wendy wouldnt bang me last night, so I gave her a sealed envelope.

Sealed Envelope by Jay G. January 28, 2004

Get the Sealed Envelope mug.

Sealed Envelope

Sealing the Envelop is to get a female naked and passed out drunk, at which point you masturbate and ejaculate semen down her ass crack using the tip to spread it evenly, then with both hands clamp the cheeks together and wait for it to dry, next day when she wakes up her asscrack will be stuck together.

After getting really wasted woth friends Tony decided to give Ella a helpful sealed envelope

Sealed Envelope by R1ftWalk3r September 20, 2016

Get the Sealed Envelope mug.

Crusty Envelope Sealer

The act of ejaculating inside ones boxers while worn then forgetting and having your load dry to your thigh. Usually the result of a parental invasion without knocking or late night jerk session.

"Brad, why did you run off last night after we finished dry humping?"

"Oh I just had a Crusty Envelope Sealer I had to open."

Crusty Envelope Sealer by J|nn May 5, 2014

Get the Crusty Envelope Sealer mug.

Dakota Envelope Sealer

one partner heats up a spoon or round metal/glass object and applies it to the other's bare asshole or pussy until it chars and proceeds to nibble off the charred pieces.

You: I just gave my girl a Dakota Envelope Sealer
Nurse: that's nice sweetie..

Dakota Envelope Sealer by Wild Coyote May 9, 2026

Get the Dakota Envelope Sealer mug.

Boffin

British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.

According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.

Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023

Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Get the Boffin mug.

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026

Word of the Day on October 2, 2026