Sealed Envelope 

An act performed immediately after sex; moments before achieving male orgasm, the man pulls out and shoots his load into the crevice of the girls ass. Afterwards, he presses her ass cheeks together for an undetermined amount of time. When he lets go, her cheeks will be stuck together, thus forming a sealed envelope.

After mom went to work, I shot my load between Van's ass cheeks and gave her a sealed envelope. She was waddling around like a penguin.

Sealed Envelope by D.H.G. October 18, 2008

Sealed Envelope 

When your girl isnt in the mood and rolls over. well her mistake! She passes out and you proceed to wack off, when you about to nut, you aim right between her ass cheecks. When she wakes up, she will be opening your sealed envelope

Wendy wouldnt bang me last night, so I gave her a sealed envelope.

Sealed Envelope by Jay G. January 28, 2004

Sealed Envelope 

Sealing the Envelop is to get a female naked and passed out drunk, at which point you masturbate and ejaculate semen down her ass crack using the tip to spread it evenly, then with both hands clamp the cheeks together and wait for it to dry, next day when she wakes up her asscrack will be stuck together.

After getting really wasted woth friends Tony decided to give Ella a helpful sealed envelope

Sealed Envelope by R1ftWalk3r September 20, 2016

Crusty Envelope Sealer 

The act of ejaculating inside ones boxers while worn then forgetting and having your load dry to your thigh. Usually the result of a parental invasion without knocking or late night jerk session.

"Brad, why did you run off last night after we finished dry humping?"

"Oh I just had a Crusty Envelope Sealer I had to open."

Crusty Envelope Sealer by J|nn May 5, 2014

Dakota Envelope Sealer

one partner heats up a spoon or round metal/glass object and applies it to the other's bare asshole or pussy until it chars and proceeds to nibble off the charred pieces.

You: I just gave my girl a Dakota Envelope Sealer
Nurse: that's nice sweetie..

Dakota Envelope Sealer by Wild Coyote May 9, 2026

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020