SPECIES - Redtards are a group of carnivorous homo sapiens in the genus
Mullet family. They reside in the southern USA, are highly territorial, prefer open grassland, high fructose corn
syrup and have an inverted mathematical relationship between their years of
education and the number of offspring they bear.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it,
da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer
us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable
science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of
teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/
blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five
tin cans with standard
gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species,
long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
