PokeWanker

An alternate function for the "PokeWalker" device bundled with the new Pokemon "HeartGold" and "SoulSilver" games.

The device is a pedometer, which rewards players in proportion to the number of steps they take. Its counting function may be accelerated by rapid masturbational movements of the hand.

Caution must be taken, as prolonged auto-erotic contact of this kind may lead to contraction of the Pokerus virus, which essentially makes your dick level up faster.

Not to be confused with Pokesturbate.

PokeWanker User's Manual:
1) Strap device to hand.
2) Find Gardevoir porn.
3) Masturbate furiously.
4) Reach Level 100.
5) ?????
6) PROFIT

PokeWanker by P-P-P-Parkerface March 11, 2010

PokeWanker

PokeWalker so involved in Pokémon go that they fail to recognise hazards.

"I was driving through the city on Tuesday when I almost hit a PokeWanker'

PokeWanker by ARJubilee July 17, 2016

PageWanker 

A person suffering from type of mania caused by an irrational obsession with Google PageRank, often expressed by increased talkativeness and a fixation on the green slider bar within the Google toolbar. The severity of PageWank becomes more prenounced as PageRank decreases. Sufferers (PageWankers) with a high PageRank 8-10 often show symtoms of euphoria (excessive happiness) and increased sex drive. As PageRank decreases sufferers may experience mood swings, irritability, anger, and increasing hostility towards the internet finally leading to depression and uncontrollable crying as PageRank reaches 0.

Dave was being an annoying pagewanker all morning since Google blacklisted his spammy link network.

PageWanker by T3dd13 February 8, 2008

Pokewalker 

A device that came with the new 2010 Pokemon games, SoulSilver and HeartGold.
You can wifi your pokemon to this pedometer like thing, and with every step you take your pokemon gains happiness and experience. You can also attempt to catch pokemon or find items with this.
It's also an excuse to get Pokemon-Kids out of the house.

Mom-"Billy, take out the trash!"
Billy-"I wouldn't normally do this, but I shall today because while walking to the trash...I'LL BE TRAINING MY POKEMON WITH MY POKEWALKER!!!"

Pokewalker by nostalgicforgarbage March 22, 2010

pomowanker

Pomowanker = postmodern jerk-off. Identifiable by, among other things, a self-indulgent propensity for bullshit, acadamese and weasel-words; for prefacing anything remotely resembling an opinion with "I'm not sure that" or "It could be argued that"; for never stating an opinion outright but insinuating instead by sneering irony that it's not intellectually respectable or defensible actually to hold an opinion on anything, much less a positive opinion. Nihilism in academic drag.
Coined by Lindsay Perigo at Sense of Life Objectivists.

1. "Brendan is a pomowanker, interested only in word games."
2. "Contemporary luminaries influenced by Gramsci include the pomowanker Foucault, unsurprisingly, and, chillingly, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown."
3. "I loathe pomowanker amoralists with nothing to say taking volumes to say it, piling on the footnotes citing other pseuds, writing for each other like adolescents."

pomowanker by organon November 30, 2007

Pokéwalker 

A person who goes for a pokéwalk.

The pokéwalker left to go on a pokéwalk with his friends, hoping to catch some rare pokémon.

Pokéwalker by mebozy July 26, 2016

Pokewank

The act of tapping on and rubbing ones finger rapidly over a phone like a woman masturbating in order to obtain a reward in Pokemon Go.

“Are you going for a walk or are you just heading out for a quick pokewank again?”

Pokewank by Irate moron September 12, 2021