pomowanker

Pomowanker = postmodern jerk-off. Identifiable by, among other things, a self-indulgent propensity for bullshit, acadamese and weasel-words; for prefacing anything remotely resembling an opinion with "I'm not sure that" or "It could be argued that"; for never stating an opinion outright but insinuating instead by sneering irony that it's not intellectually respectable or defensible actually to hold an opinion on anything, much less a positive opinion. Nihilism in academic drag.
Coined by Lindsay Perigo at Sense of Life Objectivists.

1. "Brendan is a pomowanker, interested only in word games."
2. "Contemporary luminaries influenced by Gramsci include the pomowanker Foucault, unsurprisingly, and, chillingly, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown."
3. "I loathe pomowanker amoralists with nothing to say taking volumes to say it, piling on the footnotes citing other pseuds, writing for each other like adolescents."

pomowanker by organon November 30, 2007

PokeWanker

An alternate function for the "PokeWalker" device bundled with the new Pokemon "HeartGold" and "SoulSilver" games.

The device is a pedometer, which rewards players in proportion to the number of steps they take. Its counting function may be accelerated by rapid masturbational movements of the hand.

Caution must be taken, as prolonged auto-erotic contact of this kind may lead to contraction of the Pokerus virus, which essentially makes your dick level up faster.

Not to be confused with Pokesturbate.

PokeWanker User's Manual:
1) Strap device to hand.
2) Find Gardevoir porn.
3) Masturbate furiously.
4) Reach Level 100.
5) ?????
6) PROFIT

PokeWanker by P-P-P-Parkerface March 11, 2010

PokeWanker

PokeWalker so involved in Pokémon go that they fail to recognise hazards.

"I was driving through the city on Tuesday when I almost hit a PokeWanker'

PokeWanker by ARJubilee July 17, 2016