The FartPitch will tell you if you need to be concerned about stool fragments in your unmentionables. The higher the pitch, the drier you should be. If you hear a low pitch, you are in the danger zone.
Ex. 1 - "Excuse me, Sir! I heard your low Fart Pitch just then, and you need to check your pants immediately!"
Ex. 2 - "Hey lady! That Fart Pitch was high and elegant, I wish more people did it like you. No check needed!"
A low-life, lying scumbag who cannot take criticism. A person who is referred to as Randy Pitchford is someone who will shift blame onto others, and never take any level of personal responsibility. Also often obsessed with magic.