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Not here to Fuck Spiders 

Australian slang. The term is derived from and is another way in saying, “not here to fuck around. I am here to get the job done”.” Stop wasting time we have things to do”.

It also can be used as declaration that a person has arrived at place of work or sporting team etc…with set of goals and is determined to meet them.

Can be used as reply to obvious question.

Also can be used around women and children as “not here to fornicate with arachnids’"
1. "Mate look at this"...Barry
" Barry, we are not here to Fuck Spiders, get back to it."...boss

2. "Do you think we can win the championship?"...Player
"Well I am not here to Fuck Spiders"...Coach

3. "Digging a hole mate"
“Well I am not here Fuck Spiders"

Not here to fuck spiders 

Intentionally offbeat, blunt, and sarcastic Australian humor to exclaim that you mean business and you're not here to waste time.

It's also rhyming slang with "not here to kick the tires" of a car for sale, which has a similar meaning.
1. "So, are we going to the pub or what?"...Jono
"We're not here to fuck spiders mate, let's fuck this puppy."...Sambo

2. "Your first month on the job has been fantastic. Sales have gone through the roof"...Manager
"Well, I'm not here to fuck spiders. When I'm I going to get my commission check?...Sales rep

Not here to fornicate with arachnids 

A more nuanced take on ‘not here to fuck spiders’. A classic Australianism expressing that things of little consequence or excessive moderation are not worthy to be undertaken.

Further context, similar to ‘having bigger fish to fry’.
“Hey Ellis, last drinks just got called. Pint of pale and mezcal chaser?” says Toph.
Not here to fornicate with arachnids.” he replies in support of the offer.

not here for that 

A phrase indicating displeasure and/or disappointment over something.

The phrase was popularized by Naomi Campbell who stated it in an interview.
Person 1: "Did you see those nude photos of Madonna that leaked?"
Person 2: "I am not here for that."

Person 3: "Did you see that despite negative reviews, Lady Gaga is going to release 'Marry the Night' as a single?"
Person 4: "I am not here for that."

not here for a haircut 

To express that one is there for a generally understood reason. Should not be used in hair salons
(sit. in a pub)
Lukas: Hey man do you want another beer?
Peter: Not here for a haircut mate

not here to pick cotton 

not here to pick cotton is a sentence said by a slave shortly before being beaten
black man: im not here to pick cotton

white man: GET PICKIN NIGA