Definitions by Kiz...

Walking like an Egyptian 

When your guts are so upset you're literally exploding at both ends.

Hence replicating the 'Walk like an Egyptian' dance.

Heard RaRa had a bad reheated curry yesterday.
Yeah, poor bugger was walking like an Egyptian all night.

Walking like an Egyptian by Kiz... December 18, 2022

Not here to fornicate with arachnids 

A more nuanced take on ‘not here to fuck spiders’. A classic Australianism expressing that things of little consequence or excessive moderation are not worthy to be undertaken.

Further context, similar to ‘having bigger fish to fry’.

“Hey Ellis, last drinks just got called. Pint of pale and mezcal chaser?” says Toph.
“Not here to fornicate with arachnids.” he replies in support of the offer.

Not here to fornicate with arachnids by Kiz... December 25, 2020

Cacoughany 

The chorus of coughs of co-workers in open plan offices.

Once the recycled air spreads peak saturation of an airborne virus in a workplace you can expect to hear the cacoughany begin.

The cacoughany can be heard far and wide across the 24th floor.

Matt is the maestro of coughs in the coughffice with Kieran taking a hack at the rhythm section.

Henry, the chief instigator lung operator brings his own unique breath of hot air.

No one applauds.

Fuck, if we can't all be healthy. Let's at least laugh about it.

Cacoughany by Kiz... June 27, 2018

mom juice

A household term for wine.

'Well that sure was a tough day of adulting, better pour myself a big ol' cup of Mom Juice."

mom juice by Kiz... December 13, 2017

Gnomies 

The name for hipsters who wear beanies that somehow levitate above their heads.

At a gig:

'Fuck. I can barely see the band over the heads of all the gnomies in the crowd.'

Gnomies by Kiz... August 4, 2014

Spoondogging

When you spoon your dog during the night in the absence of an intimate partner.

Came home and passed out. Woke up the next morning and realised Bella the Labrador had jumped into the bed and I'd cuddled up for some spoondogging.

Spoondogging by Kiz... August 1, 2014

cheek grabber 

When you're doing such a massive poo that you have to grab a cheek to help it out.

Bruce: Fuckin' hell Baz, I did the biggest shit last night.
Baz: The old cheek grabber eh?
Bruce: Fuckin' oath it was.

cheek grabber by Kiz... December 27, 2013