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my computer is acting retarded 

An excuse to get off of AIM or any instant messaging service when you don't want to talk to someone. Very effective, because everyone's computer acts retarded sometimes.
Jane: You know Amy, I'm so glad I can talk to you. You're the only person who really understands my relationship problems with Mike.

Amy: Yeah. My computer is acting retarded so don't be surprised if I suddenly log off AIM.

MY COMPUTER IS DOING THE MEGA CHONKY 

when a computer is going slow. Because it hasn't been turned in a bit (a week).
man with computer: MY COMPUTER IS DOING THE MEGA CHONKY
another person: dam

is my computer on 

YES

A site that says if your computer is on.
is my computer on?
YES
is my computer on by NhehGuy June 20, 2018

Shut up and give me my computer back 

when someone doesn't give back your computer when you ask for it.
Hey April shut up and give me my computer back.

why is my computer so slow 

(1)the thing you say when you bought a shitty computer
(2) the thing kids say when you tell them their cardboard computer is real
(1) you: why is my computer so slow?!
your friend: shouldnt have bought it in a alley at 3 AM

(2) toddler: why is my applebook so slow? i bought the best one for 10.000 dollars
your mind: first, its cardboard, second, applebook isnt a company, third, you bought it with monopoly money

HEY YOU GNATTS IN MY COMPUTER SCREEN.... GET OUT!!!! 

oops I hope I don't accidentally click "submit"
OH SHIT I HIT SUBMIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO AJKDFKNSFKLJHIURWINLIESJFJHUFFIKNDHIUSNRGHUONHUFDNSHIEUFNKSDNFFJNDHU JNEKF KSJNF KS KJFJSNEUENJKSLFN KSLG HEY YOU GNATTS IN MY COMPUTER SCREEN.... GET OUT!!!! JHJFSIGHSRNFJF
More from Urban Dictionary
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
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