by tdog59 July 15, 2009
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When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.
Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."
by Zima69err July 13, 2016
Get the Maintenance Wank mug.Spirits generally mixed with some sort of fruit juice and normally consumed in the late morning and/or early afternoon to help alleviate a particularly nasty hangover. Standard versions include Vodka/Cranberry, Screwdrivers, left over Hard Seltzers, and of course the Danimal. Also known as a Breakfast Cocktail when in Maui, a Maintenance Cocktail is essential for anyone who needs to rally and is eager to start working on the next day’s hangover.
Dave: Woof, I think we went a little overboard on the Peach Daiquiris last night..
Yoko: That’s why I stuck with white wine all night like a boss.
Dave: Good for you. I need to screw my head back on with a Maintenance Cocktail. Pass me the Gin and Tang.
Yoko: That’s why I stuck with white wine all night like a boss.
Dave: Good for you. I need to screw my head back on with a Maintenance Cocktail. Pass me the Gin and Tang.
by Falcon Thunder Fist March 24, 2022
Get the Maintenance Cocktail mug.We’ve always conditioned men to maintain women—this isn’t something new. What’s different is this “maintenance” has become completely electronic for some men, and the men doing the “maintaining” aren’t seeing or even making an effort to see the women they are connecting with. Men are just texting, emailing or using social media to give the impression they are checking in or they care—in order to maintain these women.
For these men, the definition of “maintenance” has shifted from traditional strategies like sending gifts and engaging in the occasional dinner, drinks or movie, to this incredibly convenient and empty form of communication based on text messages, emails, and social media: e-maintaining. And it is a mode of communication that isn’t even based in reality.
Coined by Yashar Ali
For these men, the definition of “maintenance” has shifted from traditional strategies like sending gifts and engaging in the occasional dinner, drinks or movie, to this incredibly convenient and empty form of communication based on text messages, emails, and social media: e-maintaining. And it is a mode of communication that isn’t even based in reality.
Coined by Yashar Ali
Since their last night together, Michael kept in touch with Karen on a regular basis. Every couple of weeks, Karen received a text or email from him. The messages always started out the same way, “What’s up?”
Karen would always fill him in on her life, and Michael would always respond with the same short answer, “That’s cool.”
After one or two text messages, Michael would usually disappear. But a couple of weeks later, he would show up again. Sometimes their conversations would go deeper—ten minutes of texting back and forth. Karen would find hope in those longer texting sessions, thinking that he was finally engaging with her.
A couple times he even texted, “We should have dinner soon.”
But every time Karen agreed to dinner, Michael would tell her about his really busy month at work, delaying the need to schedule a real date. Then, he would never follow up.
This faux-relationship wasn’t going anywhere and Karen was left feeling confused and frustrated about Michael’s intentions.
But these sporadic texts weren’t even about sex. Michael never even proposed any sort of rendezvous. And Karen’s motivation was certainly not friendship. “I have enough friends,” she said.
“He’s not even trying to sleep with me, what’s the point of all this?”
I told her, “Karen you’re being e-maintained”
Karen would always fill him in on her life, and Michael would always respond with the same short answer, “That’s cool.”
After one or two text messages, Michael would usually disappear. But a couple of weeks later, he would show up again. Sometimes their conversations would go deeper—ten minutes of texting back and forth. Karen would find hope in those longer texting sessions, thinking that he was finally engaging with her.
A couple times he even texted, “We should have dinner soon.”
But every time Karen agreed to dinner, Michael would tell her about his really busy month at work, delaying the need to schedule a real date. Then, he would never follow up.
This faux-relationship wasn’t going anywhere and Karen was left feeling confused and frustrated about Michael’s intentions.
But these sporadic texts weren’t even about sex. Michael never even proposed any sort of rendezvous. And Karen’s motivation was certainly not friendship. “I have enough friends,” she said.
“He’s not even trying to sleep with me, what’s the point of all this?”
I told her, “Karen you’re being e-maintained”
by Caramello October 11, 2013
Get the e-maintain mug.by aidan9030 February 27, 2017
Get the Macintosh Plus mug.Refers to people who are in well-paid, cosy, cushy jobs - who don't actually do any real work but are exceptionally talented at justifying their own worthless jobs, wasting money and making sure that whatever happens their own job stays justified and safe so that they can maintain their own cushy lifestyles. Good at feathering their own nests and shitting in other people's.
Lifestyle maintenance strategists are usually 'precious' but deluded people who highly rate their own value or worth. They'd be laughed off a building or construction site.
Lifestyle maintenance strategists are usually 'precious' but deluded people who highly rate their own value or worth. They'd be laughed off a building or construction site.
Most often represented by non technical managers and executives found in British public sector departments where jobs are not 'proper jobs'; for example Public Health manager or consultant.
Work actvities include Google time; blue sky thinking; journal club; wasting large amounts of tax payers money, running sexual health campaigns that cost £50,000 with an outcome of 19 Chlamydia tests; meetings with lots of nice tea and biscuits about work programmes that last 18 months at which a poster is finally triumphantly produced which could have taken a college student their lunch hour to come up with; the finance available to buy lifestyle designer gadgets and possesions so that they can feel smug and superior - for example owning an electric car or designer boiler; making sure that meetings finish by 4pm so the they can get away to the gym, running club, or fictious Tarquin Tombola's dinner party to which only other lifestyle maintenance strategists are invited. Colluding together (often at Tarquin Tombola's dinner parties or covens) to get rid of employees who are good at their jobs and who might expose them for the lying, worthless sociopaths that they are.
Work actvities include Google time; blue sky thinking; journal club; wasting large amounts of tax payers money, running sexual health campaigns that cost £50,000 with an outcome of 19 Chlamydia tests; meetings with lots of nice tea and biscuits about work programmes that last 18 months at which a poster is finally triumphantly produced which could have taken a college student their lunch hour to come up with; the finance available to buy lifestyle designer gadgets and possesions so that they can feel smug and superior - for example owning an electric car or designer boiler; making sure that meetings finish by 4pm so the they can get away to the gym, running club, or fictious Tarquin Tombola's dinner party to which only other lifestyle maintenance strategists are invited. Colluding together (often at Tarquin Tombola's dinner parties or covens) to get rid of employees who are good at their jobs and who might expose them for the lying, worthless sociopaths that they are.
by Sauron's contact lens June 22, 2012
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