Masturtweet

The act of tweeting yourself, i.e. sending yourself a tweet by sending, replying or retweeting to yourself on the twitter network.

Usually the act of "Masturtweeting" is followed by sudden realisation and an expletive, often followed by a public tweet apologising for masturtweeting in public.

@me yeah dude, I was totally wasted last night <enter>

"Oh Shiz, just sent that to myself again..."

@all sorry guys, just masturtweeted again, can't help myself

Masturtweet by ccwharris November 4, 2009

Masturtweeting

The act of using Twitter solely for self-pleasure or self-aggrandisement

Trump's unhinged and fact-disregarding pronouncements over Twitter are the best example ever of masturtweeting!

Masturtweeting by Zach's Dad January 7, 2017

Masterbweet 

When you write on Twitter but nobody but you reads your Tweets and you are essentially Tweeting to yourself.

Billy thinks everyone on Twitter reads his stuff but nobody does... he's just masterbweeting.

Masterbweet by Grunambulax May 20, 2011

masturbeet 

The practice of inserting a beet into one's anus for self-pleasure.

I was "beeting off" last night with a beet. I was "masturbeeting".

Sort of reminds me of what f*cking Terri Schiavo would be like.

She eased the lubed up beet into her pooching rectum, (masturbeeting) savoring every second before exploding a pudddle of ejaculatory fluid.

masturbeet by bonobo3873 September 26, 2013

masturtexting 

masturbating with the visual created from sensual text messages

thru text msg.
boy: what are you wearing?
girl: tanktop and undies
boy: take it off
girl: which one's first? the tanktop or undies?
boy: shit, i think i'm having a boner
girl: oh my god you're masturtexting

masturtexting by ihcodagedas January 10, 2011

masturbeet 

The practice of inserting a beet into one's anus for self-pleasure.

I was "beeting off" last night with a beet. I was "masturbeeting".

Sort of reminds me of what f*cking Terri Schiavo would be like.

She eased the lubed up beet into her pooching rectum, (masturbeeting) savoring every second before exploding a pudddle of ejaculatory fluid.

masturbeet by bonobo3873 September 26, 2013

Masturbeethoven

Pleasing yourself while listening to Classical Music

"Jonny was really into classical music. But I didn't realise he was THAT into it; I caught him Masturbeethoven last night"

Masturbeethoven by zAerokill July 16, 2013