Masterbweet 

When you write on Twitter but nobody but you reads your Tweets and you are essentially Tweeting to yourself.

Billy thinks everyone on Twitter reads his stuff but nobody does... he's just masterbweeting.

Masterbweet by Grunambulax May 20, 2011

Masturtweeting

The act of using Twitter solely for self-pleasure or self-aggrandisement

Trump's unhinged and fact-disregarding pronouncements over Twitter are the best example ever of masturtweeting!

Masturtweeting by Zach's Dad January 7, 2017

Masterbeated 

when you masturbate too fast for a long period of time and as a result lose focus, become flaccid, and have to start all over again.

Patient: Hey Doctor, yesterday I was masturbating and everything was fine until I just went soft, whats wrong?

Doctor: Don't worry, you were just "masterbeated."

Masterbeated by El Jalapeño August 18, 2011

Masterweeping

Using ones own tears for lube during the act of self-satisfaction.

After she left him poor dude was masterweeping for weeks.

Masterweeping by Biohavok May 1, 2009

Masterbeat 

to masturbate whilse eating.

I masterbeated on your bed while you were at work, so watch out for the spooge on the bottom left corner.

Masterbeat by supertrooperdude_69 September 25, 2009

Masturtweet

The act of tweeting yourself, i.e. sending yourself a tweet by sending, replying or retweeting to yourself on the twitter network.

Usually the act of "Masturtweeting" is followed by sudden realisation and an expletive, often followed by a public tweet apologising for masturtweeting in public.

@me yeah dude, I was totally wasted last night <enter>

"Oh Shiz, just sent that to myself again..."

@all sorry guys, just masturtweeted again, can't help myself

Masturtweet by ccwharris November 4, 2009

masturbeet 

The practice of inserting a beet into one's anus for self-pleasure.

I was "beeting off" last night with a beet. I was "masturbeeting".

Sort of reminds me of what f*cking Terri Schiavo would be like.

She eased the lubed up beet into her pooching rectum, (masturbeeting) savoring every second before exploding a pudddle of ejaculatory fluid.

masturbeet by bonobo3873 September 26, 2013