Mastercating

Simultaneously chewing, eating food and giving yourself "self love" masturbating.

I walked in to see my boyfriend mastercating while drinking a slurpee and eating nachos. He is a multi tasker!!

Mastercating by Amawee21 May 16, 2016

Mastercating

The act of slapping a body part to sound like you are masterbating.

Guy 1: ( Clap Clap Clap Clap )
Guy 2: Dude what are u doing?!?!?
Guy 1: Dude it's okay im just mastercating!
Guy 2: Masterbating!?!?
Guy 1: No no Mastercating! Im just pretending to masterbate.

Mastercating by Big Pimpin69 November 3, 2011

Maskerbating 

Wearing a mask while completely alone

Before I even realized it, I was maskerbating in my car yesterday!

Maskerbating by Photoist July 28, 2020

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

masticating 

The act of chewing. Not to be confused with masturbating

I can't talk right now, I'm too busy masticating this meat.

masticating by Stew September 17, 2004