Outsourcing is farming work out to an external entity that can do it cheaper or more effectively. Marital outsourcing is the same concept applied to marital relations. Numerous service providers are able to perform services on demand often more effectively and at a lower "total cost"
David: What was Eliot Spitzer thinking?
Mark: Marital Outsourcing. Better service, lower cost.
David: Lower cost? He spent thousands of dollars!
Mark: You ever calcualate how much usmarried guys pay on a per event basis?
David: Touche.
Therapeutic use of marijuana, intended to ease the suffering of people in terminally sick and dysfunctional relationships. Marital marijuana minimizes adverse reactions to Chronic Spousal Toxicity (CST). While it does not improve the relationship, patients report they just don't care anymore.
"Hey, pal, what happened to your hand?"
"I punched a hole in the wall when my wife complained the diamond in her ring is too small."
"That looks painful; you taking anything for it?"
"Yea, my doctor prescribed marital marijuana. My hand still hurts, the hole is still there, my wife is still unhappy... but I really don't give a crap anymore."
1) Truly an item or object used to create a better sexual experience for lovers. A vibrator or sex toy. A dildo or the like. Sexual lubricants. Flavored sexual lubricants. Ribbed condom or the like.
2) A term used to incite laughter on a job-site or construction site to identify a large tool.
1) Kirk: "Spock, come to my ready room, and bring our favorite marital aid!"
2) Johnson: "Smith, go get that high torque two-inch hole boring hammer drill..and get the kid to come here to help me with it would ya!?"
Smith: "I'll get the kid and HE can bring you the marital aid!"