Jamison313's definitions

skanktity

1. Repeated infidelity to the point that the person shows no regard for their marriage.

2. A crude slang term for the breasts of a woman without good discretion.

1. She cheated on him again? Man, she really believes in the skanktity of marriage.

2. Person A: What a skank
Person B: Yeah, but did you see her skanktitties?

by jamison313 October 4, 2006

duhpdate

A update that is so obvious that "duh" is the only possible response. Can be given in person but often comes in email form or on TV.

Mark: (In January in Michigan) it's really cold outside.
David: No shit, thanks for the duhpdate.

CNN Breaking News: Some Americans think Bush is worst president ever.
Mumbling response: Glad I get these duhpdate's from them.

by jamison313 December 28, 2007

scream test

When you don't know if something is still being used so you take it away and see if anybody screams.

Carrie: Do you know if anyone even uses this network folder anymore?

Scot: No fucking clue, I'll give it a scream test. DELETE

Matt: (the next day): WTF happened to my porn folder!

by jamison313 January 15, 2008

ask me out boots

Much tamer than "Fuck me boots" because the heel is shorter and less spikey. It is merely an invitation to ask me out and see how it goes. While less sexy than FMB they are much sexier than "Ignore me boots".

Dude, did you see Amy today? She has her ask me out boots on, I think I will.

by jamison313 July 20, 2008

marital outsourcing

Outsourcing is farming work out to an external entity that can do it cheaper or more effectively. Marital outsourcing is the same concept applied to marital relations. Numerous service providers are able to perform services on demand often more effectively and at a lower "total cost"

David: What was Eliot Spitzer thinking?
Mark: Marital Outsourcing. Better service, lower cost.
David: Lower cost? He spent thousands of dollars!
Mark: You ever calcualate how much us married guys pay on a per event basis?
David: Touche.

by Jamison313 April 17, 2008

flaming heterosexual

A male who is married and possibly has children but acts like a flaming queen. He may be in denial or in the closet or just overly effeminate.

Person 1: What! Christopher Lowell is Married?
Person 2: Yeah, he is a flaming heterosexual.

by jamison313 May 23, 2006

ask me out boots

High heeled boots that sexy but not as high, pointy, or sugguestive as "Fuck Me Boots". They fall between "Fuck Me Boots" and "Leave me alone Boots" often worn by construction workers and lesbians.

Kevin: Amy has her ask me out boots on again, she looks hot today.

David: Yeah, they are hot but nothing like Mandie's fuck me boots.

by jamison313 December 28, 2007