maritals 

Sexual relations between husband and wife. Used in mockery of conservatives who think sex should only happen in marriage.

"Can I come over tonight or are you and Lee having maritals?"

maritals by Coell September 6, 2005

marital outsourcing 

Outsourcing is farming work out to an external entity that can do it cheaper or more effectively. Marital outsourcing is the same concept applied to marital relations. Numerous service providers are able to perform services on demand often more effectively and at a lower "total cost"

David: What was Eliot Spitzer thinking?
Mark: Marital Outsourcing. Better service, lower cost.
David: Lower cost? He spent thousands of dollars!
Mark: You ever calcualate how much us married guys pay on a per event basis?
David: Touche.

marital outsourcing by Jamison313 April 17, 2008

Marital aid 

Marital aid earplugs

Whenever she gets on a rant I just slip on my marital aid

Marital aid by Tonythetiler December 18, 2016

marital marijuana 

Therapeutic use of marijuana, intended to ease the suffering of people in terminally sick and dysfunctional relationships. Marital marijuana minimizes adverse reactions to Chronic Spousal Toxicity (CST). While it does not improve the relationship, patients report they just don't care anymore.

"Hey, pal, what happened to your hand?"
"I punched a hole in the wall when my wife complained the diamond in her ring is too small."
"That looks painful; you taking anything for it?"
"Yea, my doctor prescribed marital marijuana. My hand still hurts, the hole is still there, my wife is still unhappy... but I really don't give a crap anymore."

marital marijuana by R. W. Reef November 7, 2012

marital arts 

the art of surviving in a marriage

that's his fifth marriage, he's gotten a black belt in marital arts

marital arts by achievementunlocked April 19, 2018

Bubbles Marital Bliss

A ménage à trois (or even of four or more) with some pretty bright young things in the hope of spicing up an already flagging marriage; any artificial stimulant used in the context of conjugal rites with an eye to rekindling the lusty fires of one's honeymoon. Part of a wider codified lexicon employed by Oxbridge Dons.

Wife Figure: 'Darling, I do hate to be uncouth, but why don't we forget the Connect Four just for one evening, put little Tarquin to bed and have ourselves some Bubbles Marital Bliss?\

Husband Figure: 'Daisy, you've made a scene. I think you'd better leave.'

Bubbles Marital Bliss by Mdme Bovary February 19, 2010

marital transgression 

A classy way to say you were cheating on your wife or husband.

Adulteror: Yes, I am guilty of a Marital transgression but I would like the public to know I reget it.

Average person: :| you mean you cheated on your wife.

marital transgression by problemo_official February 21, 2011