Katchup 

A merge of the words "Ketchup" and "Catch up"

Oh ketchup the beautiful red stuff that graces the dinner table for common classics such as fish and chips, pie and chips, chips and chips…

I used to have a friend once who would carry said ketchup around in her purse for convenience purposes, she was an addict and in darker times would degrade herself by injecting the stuff into her eyeballs BUT the less said about that the better…

Ketchup is a family favourite
99 percent of people enjoy ketchup
10 percent of people have used it as a faux blood substitute
also, 70percent of statistics are made up

Ketchup is also a pun welders dream as it bears similar sound composition to the commonly used phrase “catch up”

So know people all over the world can embrace the saying in a whole new way and have a little ttztzzzzzz everytime they encourage the speed of something by saying Katchup

Unfortunately for the other popular phrase “hurry up”, because it does not have a funny alternative double entendre we will probably see this slip into extinction come 2014

All in all
Ketchup is the condiment that keeps on giving
So enjoy yours today and if you don’t, ketchup!

Katchup by Abracadabradefiningwizard April 23, 2013

Katchup 

Also known as time-lapse catch up. A term used to describe the situation when someone you haven’t been talking for a while ask you “how are you doing”, then disappeared after you answered. You might get back from them in a few hours or even a few days, the length of this period is usually indefinite.

A: One of my ex just tried to catch up with me. The ex who had an orgy party without me a year ago.

B: What does he want?

A: Who knows, haven’t got back from him yet. It might be just a katchup.

Katchup by Dontlookupforpinkfalafelhat July 8, 2022

ketchupcum

When a squeezable ketchup bottle lid is popped and the juice inside spews all over the place.

The girls white sundress was ruined after a ketchupcum accident.

ketchupcum by jpg3 September 27, 2014

ketchup moustache

When a person performs oral sex on a girl who is on her period. Also called "catsup moustache" in some areas

"Hey your mom is cool. She gave me some cookies and a ketchup moustache."
"Yea... what?"

ketchup moustache by A.C. SlayinPussy July 20, 2016

White trash ketchup

Putting ranch dressing on everything, doesn't matter what it is nor the fact that you didn't even taste the food beforehand.

Because the food that someone had growing up or while away at college, either tasted so bad, or was such poor quality, that they had to hide the taste with something else in order to make it palatable and they couldn't afford to not eat it.
i.e. ranch dressing or ketchup on burnt or over-cooked anything.

They also, in turn, have gotten conditioned to eating this way so they still have to do this to almost all food they consume.

Person 1: I NEED some ranch dressing for this.
Person 2: You didn't even try it first, you might like its natural taste.
Person 1: I like the natural taste of ranch dressing. I drown everything I eat in white trash ketchup!

White trash ketchup by turak001 October 28, 2013

Ketchup pre-cum 

The runny liquid that comes out of the ketchup bottle before the thicker, actual ketchup comes out.

aww dude! i just put ketchup pre-cum all over my hotdog!

Ketchup pre-cum by vPeter February 12, 2013

hipster ketchup

Sriracha, that's it. Because hipsters put that shit on everything like my two year old does with actual ketchup.

I ordered fries but the chic millennial threw hipster ketchup all over them thinking it was cool and now my IBS is gonna flair up tonight. Damn hipsters.

hipster ketchup by HipsterHater3000 August 3, 2017