When oral sex is performed on an individual (male or female)while said individual is driving a motor vehicle
While I was driving my new girlfriend to my mom and dad's place for dinner she inquired "have you ever been jonased?" "Not by someone as talented as you" was my reply. "Well pull down your pants and I will jonas you like you have never been jonased before."
someone is Phil Jonesed when a girl/guy makes them strip with the intention to have sex but then changes his/her mind and not have sex with them, resulting in them putting their clothes back on in failure and shame.
a reference to Manchester United player Phil Jones who took his shirt off in celebration before Sergio Aguero's late league winning goal during the 2011/2012 BPL season
To be caught with child pornography, or to be caught having been involved in sexual acts with someone under theage of consent. Can also be used as a derogetary term to imply someone is a paedophile when in fact they aren't
"Did you hear that old man down the street was MrJonesed? knew something was up with him..."
When someone loses access to their accounts on multiple online services, as punishment for violating no rules on one of the services, as though by conspiracy.
"Mister Metokur's Facebook page is down?"
"Yeah, after he got his second YouTube strike, they counted it as three strikes, and then he started to get Alex Jonesed."
An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"
Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.
B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.
B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*