IM Police 

The IM Police is a self-appointed task force of suck-ups, out to rid the world of working-from-home slackers. They constantly refresh IM contact lists, looking for idle timers that exceed three seconds.

Unfortunately, their sleuth skills are very limited and usually lead to debacular accusations. They make Barney Fife look like a supercop in comparison.

Sgt Peterson, IM Police: Uh, can you explain why you went idle for 12 seconds just now? If you are working from home, you need to be working.

Abe: I'm on vacation, you pwned nitwit.

Sgt Peterson, IM Police: Oh... uh... see any good movies lately?

IM Police by moraleboatanchor March 27, 2013

Its that a weed "no its a crayon" im calling the police

Girl: Is that a weed

Guy: No this is a crayon

Girl: I'm calling the police

Microwave: 911 what's your emergency

Guy: *visible confusion*

Its that a weed "no its a crayon" im calling the police

Its that a weed "no its a crayon" im calling the police by Old Chicken Nugets May 22, 2019

Nigga I'm callin police 

Phrase that protects you from black thugs

Nigga: Hey mufuka give me that shit or I cut yo throat

Man: Nigga I'm callin police

Nigga I'm callin police by Chief Nigiris October 8, 2011

I'm calling the police

A term used when someone does something extremely bad, weird, fucked up, degenerative, sexual, horny, frowned upon, or just something that makes your stomach feel like shit, or makes your heart actually fucking stop for a second because you need to catch a breath after seeing what bullshit someone posts or say. This term can also be used on sexual messages, if someone is being weird, people typically reply with "I'm calling the police" "What the fuck", and "FBI OPEN UP!". The phrase / slang "I'm calling the police" is an effective way to tell someone to shut the fuck up, and for them to reconsider their life before saying something again or to tell someone your really fucked up and need psychotic help now. The term is similar to replying the suicide hotline number "1-800-273-TALK (8255)" , to tell someone to call it, and seek mental help (since they probably do tbh).

Guy 1: What were you doing? It's been like 6 hours!.

Guy 2: Jacking off to changed rule 34.

Guy 1: I'm calling the police and the fucking FBI to throw yo horny ass in the slammer.
Guy 1: Bouta fuckin teach this degenerate nigga ass mothafucka some goddamn justice.

I'm calling the police by Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin September 20, 2023

I'm calling the police

Saying this in the hood is a reliable way to get yourself killed.

Gangsta: yo tryna cop this fat sack?
Snitch: I'm calling the police!
Gangsta: scuse me mothafucka?
Snitch: yeah you hea-
*Gunshots*

I'm calling the police by СукаБлять December 9, 2023

If you text me or comments been limited again, I will report to police and crazy don from ITE COLLEGE WEST. I’m just 23 years old migrate. 

If you text me or comments been limited again, I will report to police and crazy don from ITE COLLEGE WEST. I’m just 23 years old migrate.

If you text me or comments been limited again, I will report to police and crazy don from ITE COLLEGE WEST. I’m just 23 years old migrate.

If you text me or comments been limited again, I will report to police and crazy don from ITE COLLEGE WEST. I’m just 23 years old migrate. by sdinaz October 25, 2023