Generally applies to men.
To be in the habit of continually playing with one's "hose" like a monkey...
Also applies to most types of useless or ineffective behavior.
See "wanker"

That guy is such a useless hose monkey.

hose monkey by <T>-=ad0be=- July 15, 2008

Related Words

hosemonkey • Horsemonkey • House Monkey • hoe monkey • hoss monkey • Host Monkey • hose beast • hose • hose monster • hose-pipe

Horsemonkey

Etremely ugly woman/man with a very long angular face with Small deep sunken eyes. Is usually a stripper and has very bad pale skin.

"hey, why is that paki getting a lap dance with that fuckin horsemonkey??"

Horsemonkey by Di Angelo April 11, 2010

hosemonkey

Hosemonkey is a term used by other professional employees to talk about Fire Fighters. It is a good natured jest for what they do.

"That hosemonkey did a good job taking that person out of the car at the accident scene."

hosemonkey by Hosemonkey's wife October 22, 2006

Horsemonkey

Newest profanity on the streets. Originated from Manalapan, New Jersey.

Bill: "your a herb."
John: "fuck you you fucking horsemonkey"

Horsemonkey by Horsemonkey2777 January 25, 2011

Horsemonkey

Horsemonkey - Complete and total ridiculous bullshit.

“That’s a bunch of fucking horsemonkey.”

Horsemonkey by The Real Sputnik June 4, 2022

hosemonkey

a derogatory term for a carwash worker

"Stupid hosemonkey scratched my candy paint!"

hosemonkey by iluvjackrussells August 30, 2005

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026