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Ancient Teutonic word meaning 'man with the big sword'. As a name it was usually bestowed upon clan leaders. The Hessel of a clan was privileged to have multiple wives, and was allowed to entertain the wives of other clan members at will in intercourse as part of his privileges.
'My wive is unable do the shopping today, she cannot walk due to the Hessel she received in her hut last night'
Hessel by Freddy3 August 9, 2006
Words you can keep
To be extremely well "equipped" in the pants. (aka big penis)

From German and Ancient Teutonic descent

Those Hessels put the whole neighborhood to shame.
hessel by echolopia September 28, 2006
'To Hessel' means: to masturbate while thinking of anal sex with animals.

"dude, the ass of that dog makes me horny. I'd really like to Hessel right now!"
hessel by Hessel August 10, 2006
Hessel is the defenition of a whanker he never Comes and Hatesniggers also has a weakness for diarrhea
Look at that Hessel shitting him self

That hessel is having a soft wet time on the toilet
Hessel by Maybe a Virgin November 23, 2021

Hessel Handi 

When you travel from Tolono to Hessel Park just to rub one out to the kids playing on the splash pad.
Hey, did you see the school board president giving himself the Hessel Handi the other day.

God work sucked today I could really go for a Hessel Handi.
Hessel Handi by Tolonoman July 23, 2022

HessenTag 

An unofficial Holiday in the Kingdom of Trimaris, SCA, on or about November Third where the participants change their social media profile pictures to that of St. Danial von Hessen. The goal is to raise the ire of the Hessen so that we may all be warmed by his wrath.
"On our 37th most holy of days, HessenTag, are we all blessed by his wrath." "Merry happy HessenTag upon you"
HessenTag by Ari Tyrbrandr November 4, 2020

Hasselhoff 

A caramelized chiseled exterior and a full head of locks, the sexy wimper snapper who starred in the Knight Rider and took it in the butt on Bay Watch episode #11 season one
I went to the movies to watch Spongebob out of water and to my surprise one of my favorite actors was in it as a human surfboard Hasselhoff..and I do believe he may have played as a long board and he had the lifeguard look with a copper tone white smudge on his sniffer and everything
Hasselhoff by Roobeer November 7, 2020
More from Urban Dictionary

Coyote Ugly

1. Place

The Bar came before the movie. It is an awesome bar where the girls know how to party and make you feel okay about giving up your money, drawers, bras, and dignity.

2. Movie

A story about a Jersey girl following her dreams, aided by working at this bar in New York.

3. Situation/Person/Decision

See other definitions - waking up next to someone so ugly you'd rather chew your arm off than wake them up.
1. Yo, Coyote Ugly is my favorite bar! I got whipped, stripped, drunk, and danced on the bar all before 7 o'clock!

2. Hey did you see Coyote Ugly? It actually has a plot!

3. Ugg I woke up to Coyote Ugly this morning!
Coyote Ugly by jerseycountry March 8, 2009
Word of the Day on September 2, 2026

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
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