Basically, how gassy you are. A Fartial Status can be checked after eating at a place that gives you the shitz, such as Chipotle, Taco Bell, McDonald's, and many others.
A fartial status can be ranked on a scale of "I'm fine...", to "SOMEBODY PLEASE KILL ME NOW!!!!"
Person 1: My stomach hurts like Hell...
Person 2: How is your fartial status?
Person 1: I think I'm gonna explode when we get in the car.
Person 2: Oh Hell no! If it's THAT bad, you're walking! You're not stinking up my sick whip!
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.