farthammer is a new breed of porn star. he concludes each sexual experience with a stern fart to the face of whomever he is currently having intercourse with.
Germanic, das fartzenheimer. Refers to an ancient Nordic practice in which warriors, on the eve of battle, would engage in a festival of beer, roasted meat, bowel manipulation, and vigorous anal sex to produce an astounding amount of pent up anal gasses (often combined with farticles) that would be hurled at the enemy during close combat. The Nordic warriors were usually so hung over that the noxious fumes had little effect on them. But, the enemy commonly succumbed to the fetid cloud.
After the party, Elwood woke up with a piercing headache in a strange room with his butt bleeding and ripped one so loud it could only be called a farthammer.
Fapping as fast as you can, when your hand accidentally slips off the rails and you punch yourself in the crotch, thus demolishing your nutsack. May result in bruising and/or infertility.
girl 1 "what are you doing tonight?"
girl 2 "I dunno. My bf pissed me off so I might go home and faphammer him..."
"I faphammered myself so hard last night, I think I ruptured a testy."
Girl "I hear you like it rough"
Boy " yeah, faphammer me."
"I would rather faphammer myself, than listen to one direction."
"faphammering yourself really is an erection rejection."
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.