Evangelical Apatheist

An evangelical apatheist, one who doesn't care about religious/faith based affiliations, mostly because none provides any real interest or positive feedback, but boastful about his apathetic-ness. He/she is boastful because the fact that he's independent minded and unaffiliated in what he perceives as the general sheep population. Fortunately, this is the best of all the evangelicals, because when he gets his evangelical mojo going, you can't help but laugh. When asked about his religious affiliation, he would reply with either the following or the equivalent "I don't care, neither should you, and here's why...". If praising something, a nearly fool-proof way of identifying an Evangelical Apatheist is if he ends his prayers with "whatever", "meh" or any equivalent.

Every so often, it's hard to determine since they don't really care about schedule either, The INCOEA (Inter-National Council Of Evangelical Apatheists) hosts a gathering of like-minded Apatheists called "the grey gathering" to confront others of similar beliefs and pop bubble wrap to proclaim their indifference towards religion...Oh, and discuss philosophy.

SUPERCHRISTIAN: OMGWTFBBQ that deer is so pretty *Squeals*

Religious congregation: Amen!!!
Evangelical Apatheist: Whatever, dude.
SUPERCHRISTIAN: What's up with him? Do you believe in god?
Evangelical Apatheist: I don't care, neither should you, and here's why. Do you ever see the lilies toil with religion? No, do you see that deer there bother with mosaic law? No, it is natural and it is honest.
SUPERCHRISTIAN: O o
_________________0 - LOLWUT?

Evangelical Apatheist by Heyit'sBrandon May 9, 2011

Evangelical Apatheist

An evangelical apatheist, one who doesn't care about religious/faith based affiliations, mostly because none provides any real interest or positive feedback, but boastful about his apathetic-ness. He/she is boastful because the fact that he's independent minded and unaffiliated in what he perceives as the general sheep population. Fortunately, this is the best of all the evangelicals, because when he gets his evangelical mojo going, you can't help but laugh. When asked about his religious affiliation, he would reply with either the following or the equivalent "I don't care, neither should you, and here's why...". If in prayer, a nearly fool-proof way of identifying an Evangelical Apatheist is if he ends his prayers with "whatever", "So what", "Meh" or any equivalent.

Every so often, The INCOEA (Inter-National Council Of Evangelical Apatheists) hosts a gathering of like-minded Apatheists to confront others and pop bubble wrap...Oh, and discuss philosophy.

Evangelical Christian: The rear of the deer is so beautiful, bless god!
Evangelical Apatheist: So what.
Evangelical Christian: What's your problem?
Evangelical Apatheist: Nothing, I'm an Evangelical Apatheist. You should be too and here's why!

Evangelical Apatheist by ChinaboyD April 26, 2011

Evangelical Atheist 

An atheist that combats religion as zealously as evangelicals thrust their religious beliefs on others.

I was talking to a co-worker about an episode of Mysteries of the Bible on National Geographic and this Evangelical Atheist jumped into our conversation telling us that we believed in a Spaghetti Monster God.

Evangelical Atheist by Aaron C. A April 8, 2012

evangelical atheist 

See asshole

An evangelical atheist is one who not only believes there is no god or other supreme being, but is obsessed with convincing everyone around them to become an atheist too, usually through hard-line intolerance (the kind they accuse other religions of). When cornered they usually try to put down their opponent's religion and bash them for 'blind faith', not realizing that their belief that there is no god is no more or less valid or provable than the other guy's belief that there is one.

Not to be confused with normal atheists/agnostics, who for the most part just dont talk about religion and accept the beliefs of those around them as their perogative. Evangelical atheists are particularly common on the Internet, as organized religion is generally accepted as part of 'the system' of global human society, and lately it's become cool on the Internet to hate 'the system'. Mostly teen angst if you ask me...

Evangelical atheist: "Hi, I'm an atheist."
Other guy: "Cool, I'm Jewish."
Atheist: "YOU FOOL! YOU PRACTICE RELIGION LOL, YOURE A DUMBASS AND IM COOL BECAUSE IM AN ATHEIST. I SHALL NOW PROCEED TO EXPLAIN WHY BLIND FAITH IS DUMB, UNLESS ITS BLIND FAITH IN ATHEISM WHICH IS A COINCIDENTAL EXCEPTION"
Other guy: "Shut it bitch, you're a dumbass"
Atheist: "BUT IM AN ATHEIST, WHICH MEANS IM ALWAYS RIGHT. AND IM NOT AN INTOLERANT PRICK LIKE ALL MEMBERS OF RELIGION ARE, HURR HURR HURR.

evangelical atheist by C++ September 7, 2005

Evangelical Atheist 

A person who has become extremely vocal about their atheism and is trying to convince others of their point of view. Often they are regarded as an embarrassment by fellow atheists.

Sometimes their behaviour is an indication of the insecurity they might feel in supporting their belief ,especially when confronted with reasonable arguments from the other side.
Some Evangelical Atheists seek relief and vindication by lobbying to pass laws that will make it difficult for religious people to voice their opinions in the public square, or teach their beliefs to their own children.Or even to assemble together with like minded people if the assembly is on government property.(as in New York)

For others, their proselyting rage may be an indication that their beliefs are foundering and they are on their way to a radical paradigm shift ( ie Anthony Flew )

Richard Dawkins ' The God Delusion' The opus magnum of a well known Evangelical Atheist

"The God Delusion makes me embarrassed to be an atheist "
- Prof Michael Ruse

Evangelical Atheist by IAIN_D February 29, 2012

evangelical atheist 

An atheist who is so committed to his own doctrine of the non existence of God that he believes he holds to no doctrine at all and has thus been consumed by his actual philosophical dogma, cause, identity, and world view.

An atheist who holds his position by falsely claiming he has no position.

An atheist who splits not only semantically thin hair but thin air.

Evangelical atheists love to redefine the traditional established definition of atheism.

If evangelical atheists believed in nothing then they would have nothing to say in the first place.

evangelical atheist by darthfocus April 17, 2012

evangelical atheist 

An individual who is actually egocentric and arrogant enough to believe that they can disprove god's existence. They harbor intense hatred and resentment for all religious organizations. But reserve most of their bile for any Christian who would dare to publicly espouse his beliefs. And so begins the crusade for justice and reason. Someone has to reach out to these ignorant believers. To open their eyes to how meaningless life really is.

However, due to the fact that EA have very little social skills, and even less testicles; engaging a believer in face to face debate is generally not possible. It would require them to venture out of their parents basement into the sunlight to talk to someone who might make them question their own beliefs and motivations. Therefore they take the fight to the web. Where they far outnumber the faithful who generally have jobs, families and lives.

Often lifelong singles (marriage is a religious institution and requires a willing partner) males of the species masturbate bitterly to humiliation porn. Because feeling dirty inside is better than feeling nothing. While the females turn to collecting cats and plastering their car with Darwin stickers in the mistaken belief that people read them. Not to be confused with the less common atheist. Who simply doesn't believe in god and does not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Entirely separate genus from the agnostic who are secure enough in their own self worth to admit they don't know.

The atheist laughed and shot a bird as he drove past the "Pro-life" rally at the abortion clinic. Then forgot about it five minutes later. The evangelical atheist honked his horn, shot a bird, shouted obscenities and spent 3 hours fantasizing about going back and running them all down. But lacked the requisite testicles to actually do so.

evangelical atheist by VillageTwittiot November 24, 2013