Embalmer
Embalmer by skeetdrums March 22, 2012
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Embalmer
A) One whose days begin when your days end....
B) A glutton for punishment. One who apparently relishes being regularly exposed to bloodborne pathogens,dangerous chemicals, noxious fumes , unwholesome odors, and psychotic members of the deceased's family, all for a substandard wage.
B) A glutton for punishment. One who apparently relishes being regularly exposed to bloodborne pathogens,dangerous chemicals, noxious fumes , unwholesome odors, and psychotic members of the deceased's family, all for a substandard wage.
A) As an embalmer, it is my professional duty to sanitize, deodorize, preserve, and restore the deceased.
B) When a family is unhappy with the appearance of the deceased, it is certain that the emblamer will be blamed.
B) When a family is unhappy with the appearance of the deceased, it is certain that the emblamer will be blamed.
Embalmer by dodgebabe8788 September 6, 2009
Related Words
The Embalmer’s Mercy
The Embalmer’s Mercy refers to a rare and disturbing postmortem phenomenon where a freshly embalmed corpse retains just enough warmth, pliability, or fluidity to allow for ritualistic sexual desecration — such as crezzing or snurling — to be performed more easily and “welcomely.”
Some believe it’s intentional, a silent blessing from the mortician. Others believe it’s spiritual consent from the dead. In either case, the Mercy is considered a sacred sign — a bodily softness that defies the chemicals meant to preserve and deny.
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Common signs of the Mercy include:
A corpse's nipples or thighs still faintly warm
Jaw or orifices remaining soft after embalming
Fluid leakage without stimulation
An unexplained twitch or “invitation” under candlelight
Some believe it’s intentional, a silent blessing from the mortician. Others believe it’s spiritual consent from the dead. In either case, the Mercy is considered a sacred sign — a bodily softness that defies the chemicals meant to preserve and deny.
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Common signs of the Mercy include:
A corpse's nipples or thighs still faintly warm
Jaw or orifices remaining soft after embalming
Fluid leakage without stimulation
An unexplained twitch or “invitation” under candlelight
“The mortician swore she was sealed, but I saw fluid glisten on the satin liner. The Embalmer’s Mercy is real.”
“Clayton only crezzes if the Mercy presents itself. He calls it ‘ethical embalming.’”
“Tom felt warmth in her throat after 18 hours on ice. He whispered, ‘Thank you, Saint Formaldehyde,’ and began the ritual.”
“Clayton only crezzes if the Mercy presents itself. He calls it ‘ethical embalming.’”
“Tom felt warmth in her throat after 18 hours on ice. He whispered, ‘Thank you, Saint Formaldehyde,’ and began the ritual.”
The Embalmer’s Mercy by Crusty smeglord July 23, 2025
embalmed
To be inebriated to the point where you are already dead and your corpse has been treated with preservatives in order to prevent decay.
Darius: Dude, you drank so many Irish car bombs last night you really made me nervous. You were completely embalmed.
Geraldine: LOL, that mortician fuckin' freaked when I rose up off the table. Let's get some snow cones!
<The two friends high five, hop on their scooters and ride to the nearest Sonic.
Geraldine: LOL, that mortician fuckin' freaked when I rose up off the table. Let's get some snow cones!
<The two friends high five, hop on their scooters and ride to the nearest Sonic.
embalmed by Lord HJ Mumpleton July 24, 2009
Embalmed
This is a term that classifies someone who is BEYOND wasted, basically wasted to the point, it's like most of their bloodstream has been replaced with alcohol, which can be used to preserve stuff in some ways, much like embalming fluid is used to preserve a dead body
Embalmed by Metallicajunkie October 8, 2018