Dutch Uncles

Collective term for your mom's previous and current boyfriends whom she insists you refer to as your uncles

Its likely thats many of these"uncles" will have supplied you with drugs to make you more amiable to partaking in sexual activities

"Hey dude how was your weekend?"

"Not bad man, I had a dutch uncle come over, he fed me a mound of coke and finger banged my arsehole for 24 hours straight"

dutch uncles drugs sexual abuse

by Mr Giraffe October 10, 2011

Dutch uncle

One who talks with great severity or directness; sever mentor

"I got mad and talked like a Dutch uncle"

by t3h z0Wn February 29, 2004

Dutch Uncle Rub

A way to simulate sex without penetration. The lady lubes her inner thighs and the guy goes to town without penetrating.

Jill said she's staying a virgin until marriage, but I got one hell of a dutch uncle rub off her last night!

by appledanny May 21, 2010

dutch uncle

When you pick up a girl to standing 69, then drop her on her head and leave.

I said lets do something crazy and picked her up upside down. Then she farted in my face so i gave her the ol' dutch uncle.

by Howard_from_law_and_order December 30, 2009

dutch uncle

a well sanded wooden board with a penis sized hole for masturbatory delight!

I got no play last night, so I went home and used the dutch uncle.

by RZA August 13, 2004

Dutch Uncle

Inserting a lolipop into a girls asshole, and then having her suck it while you fuck her.

She was a skank so I introduced her to my Dutch uncle.

by CBone September 30, 2007

Dutch Uncle

A creepy, weird, or otherwise off-color person. Someone "not quite right".

Bill: Hey, Jim. Did you go to the party last night?

Jim: Yeah, I went, but I left early because some guy was lording over my girlfriend like a Dutch uncle.

by Flying Dutch Uncle October 11, 2011