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Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
Related Words

Crabs in the bucket 

People who are stuck in bad situations. Who drag you down with them

Comes from what happens when u place crabs in a bucket. One trys to escape the others grab their legs and try to escape so it ends up they all never get out.
Them people they just crabs in the bucket. U gotta get away from them
The English transposition of the series of emojis, 🆑🆎🆘, often used as a contextless expression.
Social media user: *posts anything*

Commenter: Clabsos
When 25 people line up in a row and cum on each other’s backs and the person in the back goes to front.
Aye bro lets cwabble with the homies.
Cwabble by Everyone who's a friend October 15, 2019

Crabslap 

The act of slapping a sexual partner in the face with crab meat in a sexual manner.
After my anal discharge Hunter crabslaps me in the face.
Crabslap by Rageyy December 27, 2010

Crabs in a Bucket 

Used to describe a person (or subculture) that does everything in it's power to destroy the ambitions of those among them who wish to improve themselves.

It comes from the story of catching crabs in a bucket. When you catch a crab and place him in a bucket, the first thing he'll try to do is escape. Now, if you put two crabs in a bucket (hence the plural form of 'Crabs in a Bucket') and place them in there together, as soon as one tries to climb up out of the bucket the other will grab the escaping crab by the legs and try to escape itself, to which the process gets repeated to the point where NO crabs end up escaping.
Carl: "Isn't it a shame honey? How Johnny and Bobby are always constantly jabbing at (and insulting) eachother whenever they approach a group of girls, trying to make themselves look better than the other?"

Linda: "Exactly, they're like a bunch 'crabs in a bucket', they both end up as losers.
Crabs in a Bucket by Skaterrazz September 27, 2008