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Crematoria 

Crematoria is a fairly known band from Silkeborg, Denmark.
The members of Crematoria play Death/thrash metal all over scandinavia.

They are said to be one of the most promising upcoming death metal bands in Denmark, by reviewers.

The band members are known to be addicted to various forms of bizarre, obscure and vomitious humor, such as goatse.
"Dude... Isn't that crematoria?"
"Yeah, it is!"
"GOATSE!!"
Crematoria by Mr. Dane July 26, 2011
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Creptorial muscles

Creptorial muscles refers to one’s shoe game or creps and are usually of substantial quality. A play on word of creps and pectorials muscles.
Pree man’s Creptorial muscles.
Creptorial muscles by Lilaustin January 19, 2019

between a crematorium and a dildo shop 

To find yourself in a situation where you have been undone by your own actions.
"where is Rudy?"

"He's between a crematorium and a dildo shop"

between the dildo store and the crematorium 

1. Complete, total and utterly humiliating failure.

2. To be at rock bottom, in the most embarrassing and potentially absurd way possible. Your life has never been worse.
Man, did you see how sad Rudy's speech was last night? He's really between the dildo store and the crematorium now.

between the crematorium and the dildo shop 

synonymous with "the middle of bumfuck nowhere," except this time, you're so hopelessly pathetic that nobody even WANTS to find your ass.
"So where the FUCK are we again?"
"IDK, somewhere between the crematorium and the dildo shop..."

Cremasteria 

cremasteria (n): 1 (of a man) the condition of retracted testicles;

2 a psychoneurosis occurring in a man when confronted by an assertive woman asking him questions he has no good answers to (from cremaster, the muscle responsible for the testicle-retraction reflex, occurring, among others, during moments of extreme fear)

cremasterical (adj): of, relating to, or marked by, cremasteria
Attorney General Sessions seemed to be suffering a case of cremasteria under questioning by Senator Harris
Cremasteria by KingPellinore June 14, 2017

cremasteria 

(n): 1 (of a man) the condition of retracted testicles; 2 a psychoneurosis occurring in a man when confronted by an assertive woman asking him questions he has no good answers to (from cremaster, the muscle responsible for the testicle-retraction reflex, occurring, among others, during moments of extreme fear)
While Senator Kamala Harris was accused of displaying hysteria in her attempts to get AG Jeff Sessions to give a straight answer, it was clear from his demeanor that he was in the throes of cremasteria.
cremasteria by W0rd N3rd June 15, 2017