Congratulence 

Endless emails from coworkers voicing their congratulations for something that happened in the office such as a promotion or a major customer win.

My inbox reeks from all the congratulence over my promotion.

Congratulence by mlw_srpm March 18, 2009

Congratulence 

Congratulating someone after a particularly good fart

After a fart of great volume and/or smell, someone offers their hearty congratulence

Congratulence by HankTheBusDriver January 20, 2015

conflatulence 

The inadvertent co-mingling of two or more unique mixtures of gases, i.e., farts, expelled via the recta of two or more individuals, respectively. Generally considered deplorable as another's fart is traditionally considered inimical to one's own.

Somewhere and sometime between our elevator ride from the 9th to the 90th floor, our conflatulence invited the disappointment, and indeed scorn, of the purists among us. This conflatulence was both redolent of and offered new insight into Cole Porter's lament, "Down in the Dumps on the 90th Floor."

conflatulence by Sleuthsayer February 28, 2011

congratudolences 

Congratulations offered to a co-worker who has just accepted a promotion that will certainly lead to misery.

Hey, Greg, my congratudolences on making division chief.

congratudolences by colleraldamage2009 September 2, 2009

congratudolences 

The concatenation of "congratulations" & "condolences".
A conflicted expression of joy & sympathy in the success or good fortune of another whose fortune may also cause suffering, sorrow, misfortune, or grief.

"Well I am employed again."
"My congratudolences."

congratudolences by ZUUL42 May 13, 2019

congradolences 

Conflation of congratulations and condolences. Used primarily when a friend has broken up with someone and is a little upset, yet glad to be rid of them.

"Hey, I heard you broke up with Amanda. Congradolences are in order!"

congradolences by CaptainChaos September 12, 2007

Conflatulence 

When a person is overflowing with attempts to conflate multiple unrelated ideas or issues. Often released in such a manner that it removes all doubt to its true source (read: from their own anus).

"Man, this guy has a serious case of conflatulence"

Conflatulence by Ph4ntasmik July 26, 2017