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Colton Haynes

Model, actor and, of course, sexiest man alive. Just search a picture of him.
Me: Will you marry me, Colton Haynes?
Colton: No.

Colton Larson 

The most beautiful guy in the world he has a massive cock he keeps the door locked until you knock knock knock
"Colton Larson is Sooooo hot" "ye he cute alright"

Jonathan Coulton 

A former programmer turned singer/songwriter. First achieved notoriety with his folk rendition of "Baby Got Back". Wrote "Still Alive", the credits song in Portal; and "Code Monkey", which is now the theme song for the G4 show of the same name. Has six albums on iTunes and two podcasts. Possibly the only artists immune to the effects of fame and money.
Jonathan Coulton by The Ska Assassin February 17, 2009

The Colton Special

When a guy brings a girl into the community study room in a college dorm and proceeds to get a blowjob from said girl.
Last night he brought me back to his dorm common room and we did The Colton Special. It was crazy how he lasted only 30 seconds then came all over my face!
A guy who hides his heart. He will open up too you when he trusts you. If you ever break then they will never come back. Coltons are the best boyfriends you could ever have. So don't ever let them go. And if you do let them go that will be one of the biggest mistakes you have ever done. Believe me I would know.
Girl 1: hey look it's Colton!
Girl 2: I can't believe I gave him up for some asshole that cheated on me.

Girl 1:do you still miss him?
Girl 2:i don't ever stop thinking about him he was the best person that had ever came into my life and I just let him slip away.