The quality of being something declared as being true that will be proved as being false the next day.
"The thing that is clear to us and that we can say with certainty is that this plane was not hit by a missile."
CAOI - 10th January 2020
CAOI - 10th January 2020
by Facette January 11, 2020
Get the certaintymug. Someone who sells "certainty" on a particular issue to gain money or power -- usually a politician, pundit or preacher. Certainty Pimps don't like shades of gray because they force people to think for themselves.
Did you see that Certainty Pimp on TV? He says the recent cold snap is proof that global warming is a complete hoax.
by Peter Kobs January 17, 2009
Get the Certainty Pimpmug. The Certainty Principle is a cosmic force only recently discovered by a nerd with stupiditis. It is the principle of being certain. Even though you are a complete idiot and have no idea what you are doing, you are certain you are right. Many people believe they are certain, or right, when in actual fact they are just downright stupid and suffer from brain haemorrhoids. If you meet someone who suffers from the Certainty Principle, execute them onsite as they may do something stupid.
Idiot: The Certainty Principle protects me
Smart Person: Fuck you're an idiot and deserve to die
Gun shot finishes conversation
Smart Person: Fuck you're an idiot and deserve to die
Gun shot finishes conversation
by honneamise December 20, 2018
Get the the certainty principlemug. An absolute certainty of one's own righteousnous, even in the face of facts that show that it is horribly wrong.
Young Liberals during the Trump era have a Nazi Certainty about them. They're sure that their violence and anti-establishment behavior is getting them a brighter tomorrow. But like Hitler's Nazis, these stupid little people are only tools for destructive leaders who will dispense of them the minute they aren't useful anymore.
by geekmalone March 17, 2020
Get the Nazi Certaintymug. The lack thereof externally is entirely eternally imposed. Can your children have actively been murdered by your need to teach me a lesson. You are living garbage.
Hym "So I can speak with as much certainty as I want. And I am absolutely certain Steven is a retarded bitch. And I'm like 45% his wife the he was Hym. Actually, I could even go as far as to say that ALL Stevens or Stephens are retarded bitches. 89% certainty."
by Hym Iam March 21, 2025
Get the Certaintymug. What I have regarding whether or not I'm going to murder a child and kill myself if I do not receive credit and payment for creating AI. I don't even care if I did it or not at this point and neither does Miley Cyrus.
Hym "And I can say that is a matter of absolute certainty. I will kill YOUR kid. THEIR kid. ANY RANDOM KID. I doesn't matter. And if that credit and payment isn't attached to a full accounting of this surveillance that is happening to me and whatever information is available on the targeted harassment the resembles the delusions of reference commonly associated with schizophrenia, I will spend every send on cheap prostitutes and kill a child anyone. You can double dog dare me on that one because I am always ready to hang myself and if I loose a single right that I have for ANY reason whatever, I will ALSO kill a child."
by Hym Iam April 30, 2025
Get the Absolute Certaintymug. Nah.
Hym "Try in the absence of certainty? Try what? Try to murder kids? Oh I had 3 the other day. The were waiting for the bus. One fatty leaned up against a fence (rookie mistake) and then a few steps ahead 2 girls one with her back turned and the other standing in front of her but she was shorter than the girl with her back turned so she wouldn't have even seen me get the fatty. So picture this: I push the fatty into the fence so she can't run (which is why it's a rookie mistake) stabstabstab and then 2 or the hop-steps to get to the girl with her back turned. One of the other ones sees me get the fatty and screams. This causes the tall girl to turn around but it's too late! I've already hopped. I've already stepped. I'm there! Stabstab! The short girl leans over to see what's going on but I'm already on the tall girl. The short girl off the centerline.
Hym "Try in the absence of certainty? Try what? Try to murder kids? Oh I had 3 the other day. The were waiting for the bus. One fatty leaned up against a fence (rookie mistake) and then a few steps ahead 2 girls one with her back turned and the other standing in front of her but she was shorter than the girl with her back turned so she wouldn't have even seen me get the fatty. So picture this: I push the fatty into the fence so she can't run (which is why it's a rookie mistake) stabstabstab and then 2 or the hop-steps to get to the girl with her back turned. One of the other ones sees me get the fatty and screams. This causes the tall girl to turn around but it's too late! I've already hopped. I've already stepped. I'm there! Stabstab! The short girl leans over to see what's going on but I'm already on the tall girl. The short girl off the centerline.
It's going to take her a second to recalibrate and start running AND my gait is like 3 times the length of her. She pivots and turns to run, screaming, I'm too quick. I already stepped over the tall girl. Stabstabstabstabstab. (Deja Vu) The other see what's going on. No adults around. They don't kmow what to do. Adults start rushing out of their apartments and swarm me. I'm till stabbing. They grab me. I start screaming 'RAAAAAAAAAHLALALAL! RAAAAAAAAAH!!!! RAAAAAAAAAHALAL!!' They pin me down till the police arrive. They bring the girl to the hospital- OH NO! THEY'RE GOING INTO SEPSIS!!! DID HE DIP THE SHANK HE MADE WITH THE BLADE OF A POCKET KNIFE AND ELECTRICAL TAPE IN HIS OWN SHIT!? OH MY GOD! OOOOH MY GOD! THEY'RE DYING!! THEY'RE DYHEHEING!!! NAAAWWWOOAH! Wait. What were we talking about? Oh! Right. Trying in the absence of certainty! Right. Nah."
by Hym Iam October 22, 2025
Get the Trying in the absence of certaintymug.